


SpacePanda versus the Gorgeous Guy

by Saasan



Series: The Adventures of SpacePanda [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Explicit Language, Humor, I mean some plot but not tons, M/M, Matt Holt is the best wingman, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, camboy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-06 14:04:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saasan/pseuds/Saasan
Summary: Ever since the accident that left his body with massive scars, Shiro's shied away from relationships and dating.  Instead, he spends his time working out, hanging with his friend Matt, and crushing on camboys.  But what happens when his favorite camboy walks into the gym he works at?  He gets hella awkward, is what!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You'll note it's the Gorgeous *Guy* not *Man*, so there's no Coran, haha!

Shiro was in deep, and he knew it. He had just seen the World's Most Attractive Man, and it turned out he was going to continue seeing him several times a week for the foreseeable future as said attractive man was using the gym Shiro worked at.   He had discovered this fact precisely ten seconds earlier when the man nodded hello to him as he got off the rowing machine and walked away. Shiro had yet to speak, move, or think.

 

“I see you've spotted the new guy,” Shiro's best friend, Matt, teased. Matt didn't work at the gym, but he did use the gym's treadmill when the weather wasn't good enough for running outside and he frequently stopped by to tease Shiro. He could read Shiro like a book, and even if he couldn't, Shiro was currently the world's most obvious idiot.

 

Shiro clapped his open mouth shut and whirled around to look at Matt. “How long has he been going here?” he whispered.

 

“Oh, about three weeks now. I was talking to him a bit earlier. I guess he's a university student and his scheduled change, so he'll be coming in during your shifts now. I'm sure that suits you fine,” Matt smirked, elbowing Shiro in the ribs.

 

“No, no, no, this is bad,” Shiro moaned into his hands. “You don't get it, Matt. I _know_ him.”

 

“What? How is that bad news? He's your total type—boyish, thin but muscled, dark hair. Is he actually a jerk or something? He's been really polite to me,” Matt puzzled.

 

Shiro tugged Matt back into the (currently empty) staff break room. “Listen,” Shiro hissed, eyes wide with fear. “That's porn guy.”

 

Matt's eyebrows shot up. “ _That's_ porn guy? Oh man. That's...awesome! You've been going on about that guy for months. Now you can meet him! Maybe you can get him to sign your pecs.”

 

Shiro was flushed to his roots with embarrassment. “I haven't been going on about him. I just mentioned that I'd seen an attractive cam star a few times,” he insisted.

 

“Dude, no one talks about their favorite porn star—I'm sorry, 'amateur cam artist' or whatever the term is—multiple times with their straight friend unless it's serious. You're crazy for this kid and now you can talk to him. How cool is that! You should ask him out,” Matt said. “This has got to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Carpe diem! Seize the gay!”

 

Shiro held up his hands, trying to slow down his friend's enthusiasm. “No way can I ask him out. He's way out of my league.”

 

Matt looked truly disgusted. “Um, you're kind of made of 80% muscle and 20% epic hair, so I don't wanna hear it. Porn guy is 80% epic hair and 20% muscle. Make this happen. It's fate.” Matt scrutinized his friend's face before sighing. “Okay, you're shocked and overwhelmed. I get it. Take a day or two to get your head together and then let's regroup.”

 

Shiro inwardly shuddered at the thought of continuing this conversation but gladly accepted the reprieve. “Right. We'll talk later. I'm about to clock off anyway.”

 

“Sounds good,” Matt smiled. “I'll text ya later.”

 

~*~*~

 

Shiro would, of course, run into Real Life porn guy the day of a livestream. He *almost* opted not to watch out of pure embarrassment but caved at the last minute. He made himself comfortable on his bed, tissues and lube in easy reach, and watched the stream begin.

 

“Hi guys, it's me, Red Blade. Thanks for joining me.” He looked at his screen and smiled. “Looks like a big crowd tonight. You guys are awesome. I'll do my best to make it a good show today.”

 

He skimmed over the comments and answered a few questions, greeting some of his regulars by name. It was one of the things Shiro really liked about Red. While he always seemed shy and a little nervous, he took the time to get to know his fans. Like many cam stars, he had two levels of subscriptions: the basic package (access to his streams) and the delux (ability to comment and send DMs). Shiro was a delux subscriber, but he'd never said anything either in the chat or as a direct message. He just knew that Red was a student struggling some with money and could use more subscribers and if Shiro was anything, he was a softie. He tipped at the end of every stream, too. Matt had once told him he should save the money to take someone on a real date, but Shiro just blushed. He hadn't asked anyone out since the accident that left him with massive scars all over his body. It was _why_ he watched porn in the first place. When it was a live show, he felt a bit of a connection to the actor, and that was as close as he was willing to be to a person for the moment.

 

Shiro had followed several cam shows over the past few years, but Red was by far his favorite. He'd only discovered him a few months ago just shortly after Red got started. He was quite tame in comparison to most streamers, just fingering and hand jobs on a typical night. But, with his flawless body, expressive face, and open-though-shy persona, he had a decent following. And so, every Tuesday night at 8, Shiro was sure to be home and glued to his laptop. It's not like he ever had plans with anyone other than Matt anyway.

 

“Alright,” Red said. “It's about time to get things started, don't you think?” He smiled his nearly-shy smile. “Today, I brought something new.” He disappeared from sight for a moment and there was the sound of rummaging. “I've had several requests for toys, so...,” he held up a dildo. It was very realistic (complete with veins) and on the larger side, but by no means unreasonable. It was also a violently bright orange with hot pink lightening stripes down the sides and Red laughed as he looked at.

 

“Yeah, I know, it's just a regular dildo. A friend bought it for me as a gag gift, if you can believe that. It's also a bit bigger than anything I've taken before,” Red said. He tugged a lock of his black hair behind one ear and bit his lip. “I know, I know—I'm pretty boring. But, I'm trying to be more interesting! So, let's see how this goes.”

 

Red stripped slowly, like he was trying to tease but wasn’t quite confident enough. It was adorable, especially when Red laughed at himself and gave up on seduction partway through, slipping down his black boxer briefs and kicking them away unceremoniously. He arranged himself on his bed, his hips angled for the camera. Shiro licked his lips. He loved all of Red's body—his long limbs, his slender waist, his muscled but trim torso—but he was completely gone for his ass. He liked when Red fingered himself while on his stomach and he nearly typed in a request but decided to let Red do whatever was most comfortable for him.

 

Red spread his legs wide and looked into the camera mischievously as he sucked on a finger. He kept his eyes on the camera as he trailed the finger down his body, pausing at his hole and rubbing across it in slow, teasing circles. He barely pressed in and closed his eyes, biting his lip and breathing a sigh. His dick twitched and began to harden. Shiro liked that Red didn't start with his cock when he fingered himself. He liked watching it lengthen and fill while he worked himself open, standing erect by the time he was stretched and ready. Red reached for his lube and coated his fingers. He usually put on more of a show first, but today he looked eager and determined. He slipped in a finger to the second knuckle and bucked his hips slightly, a tiny moan escaping his lips. Shiro slid a hand under his waistband and brushed his fingers against his cock, eyes fixed on Red's hole as the finger disappeared a little deeper before darting back out, swirling, and pressing back in.

 

“Mmm. Needed this today,” he mumbled, sighing. He hissed a little as he tucked in a second finger, stretching and scissoring himself. He rocked back onto his fingers and huffed a little laugh. “I'm a bit greedy today, sorry. I'll try to slow this down.”

 

Shiro loved it when Red talked. It was a part of why he loved his streams so much. There was something energetic in his voice and Shiro just knew Red would be vocal with a partner. He wrapped his fingers around himself but didn't move yet. He was always over too quickly with Red if he wasn't careful.

 

True to his word, Red slowed down, taking an almost tortuously long time working just his two fingers in and out, pants punctuating little thrusts of his hips when something felt especially good. He worked in a third finger and lightly brushed over his cock with his other hand. It was nearly fully erect now and he rubbed his thumb across his head with a gasp. Heat pooled in Shiro's belly at the sound and he bit off his own gasp, embarrassed to be making noise this early.

 

Red switched to fondling his balls as he plunged his fingers in and out, gaining speed but still keeping it slow. He whined and arched his back a little before slowly pulling all the way out. His long bangs were starting to stick to his forehead and brushed them out of his eyes as he sat up, his cheeks flushed a lovely pink.

 

“Okay, time to give this a try,” he said, chuckling a little breathlessly as he lubed up the dildo. He lay back down, checked his angle to make sure he was lined up with the camera, and began to press the head in. He gasped and changed the angle, rubbing it slowly across his hole and trying again. Shiro could see the wince on his face, even with Red's head leaning back. It was just on this side of pleasure/pain and was exquisite, but as Red pushed in a little deeper his wince grew harder and he stopped, his body pushing back against the head of the dildo, instantly undoing his progress. He growled under his breath and tried again, using more force and immediately regretting it as he gasped and stopped again.

 

Shiro was concerned. Red looked more determined than ever, and as hot as it was to see Red's hole stretch wider, he worried he'd hurt himself. Shiro hesitated for one moment before typing into chat.

 

**SpacePanda: Go easy on yourself. Take a break if you need we're not going anywhere**

 

Red happened to take a glance at the chat and saw the message. He smiled.

 

“Hey Panda. I don't think I've seen you comment before. Sorry if this is your time joining. I promise I'm doing fine but thanks for worrying.” Red flashed the camera a sheepish grin. “I'm determined to do this, and I hope you don't mind sticking around until I finish.”

 

**SpacePanda: I'll be here all night ;)**

 

Red chuckled. “Very cheeky. Thanks, Panda.”

 

Shiro blushed, surprised at himself both for the comment and the wink. He was also embarrassed that he hadn't changed his screen name before commenting. It was a stupid nickname Matt had given him one day because of his white and black hair and he’d somehow ended up using it. He was terrible at thinking up usernames.

 

A few more fans chimed in encouragement and Red rolled over to read them, grinning and commenting back.

 

“Okay, so a lot of guys are asking why I'm determined tonight. Storytime. I've been crushing on this guy for months now. I haven't even talked to him before. He's THAT gorgeous.”

 

Shiro felt a wave of jealousy and immediately quashed it. He was being ridiculous.

 

Red blushed a little and laughed at himself. “Yeah, so this gorgeous guy I've never talked to...he's um, he's big. I don't know for sure how big his cock is 'cause I've never seen it, but I've got a pretty strong feeling just based on the size of the rest of him, you know? And I am WAY too shy to ask him out, but if by some miracle he did talk to me, and we somehow ended up on a date, and by some bigger miracle we ended up back at his place, well I'd feel really stupid if I couldn't take him. Oh god this sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.” Red was blushing so hard and it was so cute and Shiro was stupidly jealous of Gorgeous Guy. Whoever the guy was, he was an idiot for not asking out Red.

 

“I have no idea if this guy tops or bottoms or even if he's gay, but I feel like I need to have all my options available, you know?” Red laughed at himself and at a few of the comments that poured in, mostly from supportive fans who said they knew the feeling of being afraid to ask someone out.

 

**SpacePanda: You're gorgeous and any guy who wouldn't leap at a chance with you isn't worth your time**

 

Red smiled as he scrolled through the comments but didn't mention his, leaving Shiro a little disappointed.

 

“Okay guys, I've decided. I promised myself I'd try new things and be braver this year—and not just on cam, haha—so if I make my weight goals, I'll ask Gorgeous Guy out for coffee.”

 

Shiro's heart dropped and he hurriedly typed in a message.

 

**SpacePanda: Your body is perfect don't feel you need to change your weight to impress someone!!!**

 

Red's eyes lit up when he saw the message and he grinned at the camera. “Panda, you're a sweetheart. I hope you stay with me for more sessions! Don't worry. I meant my weightlifting goals. I'm happy with my body. I just like exercising and want to get stronger. And I'm going to have to get a _lot_ stronger if I want to manhandle Gorgeous Guy,” he added with a wink.

 

Shiro's heart dropped for an entirely different reason. Red _winked_ at him. Red winked at _him_.   Oh god, there was no way he was going to be able to look at him without blushing the next time he saw him at the gym.  

 

“Alright! Enough talking. Thanks for the encouragement, guys. Time to get a fake dick in me,” Red said. He flopped back on the bed, coated the dildo with more lube, and began to push again. This time he was able to take the head in one go and then lay back, panting with his eyes closed. He slowly worked in the dildo, inch by inch, squirming and pressing his heels into the bed.

 

“Mm,” he moaned. “It’s good. Feels good.”

 

Shiro began to slowly move his wrist, tugging lightly at himself. He could feel his pupils widening as the dildo advanced deeper until it was fully seated and Red glanced down at himself, looking both pleased and surprised to see he’d taken it. Red took his cock in one hand and stroked himself lightly as he experimented with the depth and angle of the dildo and until he gave a startled cry.

 

“Oh fuck, that’s good,” he said, his eyes squeezed shut. Soon he was gliding the toy in a steady rhythm as he pumped his hand over himself, his abs clenching when he cried out. Shiro was hard and leaking, one hand tugging his length and the other cradling his balls. His eyes roamed Red’s body greedily, drinking in the sight of his trembling legs and gorgeous hands, hands that would look so beautiful around him. _God_ he’d love to see Red’s mouth around him, his hands stroking what he couldn’t fit. Shiro would cradle his head with one hand, guiding gently but never forcing him deeper. Red’s eyes would look up at him from under those long, dark lashes while he sucked hard and moaned around him. Or fuck, if it could be him disappearing into that tight hole, with Red squirming beneath him, making those needy sounds and begging for more.

 

“Oh yes, oh fuck, that’s it, that’s perfect,” Red was crying. Shiro came before Red had time to finish his almost panicked cries, and he watched in awe as Red’s orgasm rocked through his body. Red always came that way—hard and trembling with a pleasure that consumed his whole body. It was mesmerizing and Shiro could only imagine how beautiful it would feel to be the one responsible for that pleasure.

 

Red lay panting in his aftermath for a moment before propping himself up on one elbow and giving the camera a thumbs up and a wink.

 

“Thanks for the encouragement, guys! I’d call that a success. I hope you guys had as much as I did,” he grinned. He got a little self conscious again as he realized he still had the dildo in him, slowly pulling it out and moaning again. “Yeah, it was fun,” he repeated with a little blush. He cleaned himself up and chatted for a few more minutes with some of the delux subscribers and then wished everyone a good evening and ended the stream.

 

Shiro cleaned himself and then leaned back on the bed. Red was fantastic, just like he was every time, and his body was perfect as always. He’d been even cuter in real life, too. The camera did not do justice to the pale smoothness of his skin and especially not to his beautiful eyes—a stunning mix of purple and grey. The most perfectly beautiful, utterly gorgeous, painfully attractive man he’d ever seen was now not just an actor in his fantasies but available and in reach to _talk_ to. He tried to picture himself talking to Red at the gym, but even under the best scenarios he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t leave him a babbling mess. He’d have to content himself with the occasional nod “hello”.

 

Unexpectedly, his computer chimed with an alert. Shiro frowned. He didn’t think he had any chat system open and no one would be messaging him anyway except for Matt (who always texted). He pulled up the tab. Oh hell. It was a private message. From Red.  
 

 

**redblade: thanks for joining me tonight**

**redblade: I looked at the logs and you've been following for a while**

**redblade: don't be too shy to talk sometimes ;p**

**redblade: btw your name is cute ;)**

 

Shiro's hands trembled on his keyboard. Red was flirting with him. He probably flirted with all his followers but it didn't matter because _Red was flirting with him_. Shiro quickly left his usual tip and slammed his laptop shut, too embarrassed to write back. Forget saying “hello”—there was no chance he’d even be able to look at him.

 

~*~*~

 

 “Cute new porn guy’s name is Keith,” Matt declared the second Shiro walked into work the next day.

 

“Good day to you, too,” Shiro smiled. “Were you snooping through our files—the ones that are for personnel only?”

 

“What?” Matt cried, feigning injury. “Does that sound like something I would do?”

 

Shiro shook his head and laughed as he hung up his coat and closed his locker. “No, I think you’d hack our database.”

 

“Fair enough. But actually, I did something way craftier: I asked him. Bumped into him during my morning jog while he was walking to campus. So good news—he lives nearby. Feel free to thank me anytime,” Matt said. He was (as usual) insufferably pleased with himself.

 

“You know I could have just gotten all of that from his gym membership files, right?” Shiro pointed out, grinning at his friend.

 

Matt waved his hand in dismissal. “Details. Besides, your conscientious butt probably would’ve felt it was an invasion of privacy to look it up.”

 

“It _would_ have been an invasion of privacy,” Shiro countered.

 

“You mortals and your morals,” Matt said, shaking his head.

 

Shiro sighed. “I need to go clock in, but…,” he glanced around to make sure that no one had walked in. “Listen. I need your advice. Is it okay for me to keep watching his videos…? Because I watched his stream last night and it was… Well, I feel kind of guilty about it.”

 

“It’s kind of a weird situation,” Matt admitted. “It’s not like he’s got a sign up on his channel saying ‘Only people who’ve never met me can watch this’, right? I think if it bothers you, don’t do it, but don’t let the fact you already know what this guy has under his belt stop you from pursuing something, okay?”

 

Shiro remembered what Red—no, Keith—had said about Gorgeous Guy and couldn’t help but feel it would be inappropriate to make a move, regardless of anything else. He started to explain this to Matt but someone else entered the locker room, so he said goodbye to Matt and headed out to work. The rest would have to wait.

 

~*~*~

 

 When Keith arrived later that day, Shiro could barely look in his direction. He ended up being called over by another patron with a question about how to use a machine and when he finished with the demonstration, he tried to sneak a glance at Keith using the mirrors that covered one wall of the gym. Keith's head jerked away. Had he been staring at Shiro?

 

Shiro shook his head to clear out the thought. If Red—no, Keith—had looked, it was because he wanted to know how to use the machine. Hadn't Red said he had weightlifting goals? He should offer some advice. Just to be nice. A way to say “thank you for the amazing porn” without being too creepy. And well, he'd hate it if Keith got hurt from improper lifting technique. It was the totally logical, completely reasonable thing to do.

 

A logical part of his brain was screaming to _please, please stop being a creep-and-almost-stalker-fanboy_ but half a minute later Shiro was standing awkwardly next to Keith. He cleared his throat and Keith jumped, turned to see Shiro and actually took a step back, eyes wide.

 

“Ah, sorry for scaring you,” Shiro said with what he desperately hoped was a normal smile. “I was just helping another customer with their machine and thought I'd offer to help you, too.”

 

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Keith mumbled. “I've used these before.”

 

Shiro nodded, dry-mouthed, noticing the younger man's compact muscles. It was obvious he knew his way around a gym. “Do you have any goals you're trying to reach?” Shiro heard himself asking. Would he _please_ just stop talking now?!

 

Keith wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Just staying healthy, thanks,” he said, not meeting Shiro's eyes.

 

Dammit dammit dammit he was making Red uncomfortable. Just back off already.

 

“I appreciate it but I can't afford a personal trainer, so...,” Keith mumbled.

 

Shit. Keith thought he was trying to drum up business. Shiro opened his mouth to explain when another customer called for him and Keith took advantage of the moment to slip away. _Shit_.

 

Shiro went about the rest of his shift, completely miserable. He was such an idiot. He seriously couldn't leave well enough alone. He tried to keep himself busy at the desk when, just before he was going to clock out, he saw Keith head over to the bench press. Shit. That actually wasn't something he could ignore. Mentally crossing his fingers that he wasn't about to stuff his foot in his mouth again, Shiro approached Keith.

 

“Um, hi again,” Shiro said.

 

Keith spun around.

 

“Sorry I keep sneaking up on you Ke--” Dammit he wasn't supposed to know his name! He turned Keith's name into a cough at the last second. “My name is Shiro, by the way,” he said, extending his hand.

 

Keith shook his hand and _dammit how did just that brief touch turn him into spaghetti?_ Shiro prayed his expression hadn't changed.

 

“Keith,” he said. “Hi.”

 

“Hi Keith,” Shiro said feeling like an idiot. “Sorry to bother you again. Gym rules say I need to supervise if you don't have a spotter for the bench press.” He pointed a nearby sign which Keith turned to stare at.

 

“Okay, yeah, cool, sorry,” Keith mumbled.

 

“It's not a problem,” Shiro smiled. “I'm happy to help.”

 

It was not a full minute later that Shiro realized just how very happy he was to help—he was practically standing over a sweating, panting, gorgeous Keith and if he was struck down dead at this moment, he would have lived a full life. The concentration on Keith's face was breathtaking and his purple eyes were even more beautiful when they sharpened with focus. Yup. This was how Shiro was going to die.

 

Keith finished his reps and Shiro helped him rack the weights, despite Keith's insistence he could manage it himself. Shiro mentally kicked himself half a dozen times for not taking the hint and just leaving already but the briefest flicker of those eyes to his own rooted him to the spot.

 

“Thanks,” Keith said as they finished. He picked up his gear and headed to the locker room without looking back, but Shiro caught the small smile on Keith's reflection in the mirror.

 

Red was ten times more adorable in real life and Shiro wasn't quite sure if this was the worst or best thing that had ever happened to him.

 

Shiro went back to the staff room and checked out. Matt was waiting for him in the hall with the biggest grin on his face and Shiro nearly turned around to hide in the room until Matt got bored and left.

 

“Someone made progress today,” he teased. “I'm proud of you. First step: talk to cute boy. Step two: ask him out.”    

 

“Matt, he's already got someone he's crushing on,” Shiro sighed.

 

“Are they dating?”

 

“No, but he seems pretty set on this guy.”

 

“Dude, that means he's still available. If you don't make a move, you'll just kick yourself later. Seriously. You know he's gay, he's available, and he's hot. Ask him out. If he says no, at least you tried. And if he says yes, well I’ve already got half my best man speech written out,” Matt winked.

 

Shiro laughed and playfully slugged his friend in the arm. “Who said anything about being a best man? Who said you’re even invited to my wedding?”

 

A soft voice coughed politely behind him and Shiro turned to see that Keith was standing there, face flushed red.

 

“Sorry, could I get past?” he asked.

 

Shiro’s brain ground to a complete halt. Shit. Shit-shit-shit now Keith would think he was engaged. He gaped, his own face turning red, and could think of absolutely nothing to say.

 

“Yeesh, Shiro, look at you—taking up space. Don’t get wedding jitters before you’ve proposed! Or gotten a boyfriend. Or even had a date in the last decade. Don’t mind him; he’s just a dork,” Matt added to Keith, pushing Shiro aside to make room.

 

Keith nodded and walked swiftly past them.

 

“See ya, Keith,” Shiro squeaked, finally recovering the powers of speech. The younger man turned to give a small wave and smile before scurrying away.

 

“You owe me~,” Matt sang with a smirk. “Now he knows you’re available _and_ gay. You’re very welcome.”

 

Shiro slumped against the wall. “Okay, shit. Thanks. Yeah, I owe you.”

 

“Who’s the world’s best wingman?”

 

Shiro rolled his eyes and laughed. “You are, Matt.”

 

“Damn right I am.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro has a crisis and Keith helps him do some shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys are thirsty/supportive/amazing! So many kudos and comments and it is all muse fuel, let me tell you. Chapter 2 is here and I'm working Chapter 3 'cause you guys are awesome and inspiring and I love you all~~~~

Naturally, Shiro had a crisis that evening. Keith was 100% cuter in person and he was so adorably shy and Shiro was such an idiot and was it even okay to keep watching his streams? Matt was right that there wasn’t any kind of rule about watching streams of people you’ve met, but since Keith didn’t know that Shiro watched him, didn’t that make it weird? Plus, what if Keith was grossed out that this older, scarred up guy was watching him? Based on Keith’s posted age (19, and dear god he hoped that was correct because oh my god what if Keith lied about his age and he was technically watching child pornography but no wait Keith was in college and he could check Keith’s files if he needed to okay crisis averted), Shiro was seven years older than him. That might make him uncomfortable.

 

Too embarrassed to ask Matt for advice, Shiro consulted Google. How to talk to a porn star? What happens if you meet a porn star in real life? Porn star etiquette. At what point do you become a stalker? Shiro cringed at his search history. He hoped nothing he wrote flagged him with the FBI.

 

As he skimmed through the documents and forums he found, he came across something on doxing, and holy hells did it scare him. People seriously tracked down someone over the internet like that to stalk and harass them? If Keith didn’t have _very_ good security for his IP address and hosting, he could be in serious trouble.

 

Shiro opened up the messaging system to contact Keith and hesitated. Was it too weird to send him this? He’d immediately bailed on Keith last time. Whatever—the important thing was Red’s safety.

 

**SpacePanda: Hi Redblade. I learned about doxing today and it’s really dangerous. I thought I should warn you to be careful.**

 

The alert ding of Red’s reply came back almost immediately, startling Shiro.

 

**redblade: thanks panda :) I have a geek friend who takes good care of me**

 

Shiro chewed his lip. Red seemed friendly and maybe even eager to chat. He decided to brave his luck and respond. He’d encouraged him to talk more, hadn’t he?

 

**SpacePanda: Is this the same friend who gave you the lightening dildo?**

**redblade: Haha no**

**redblade: did you like it? ;)**

**SpacePanda: Yes**

 

 _When it was in you,_ Shiro thought but kept to himself.

 

**redblade: I can ask him where he got it if you want one lol**

**SpacePanda: No thank you. I can't use toys**

 

Fuckfuckfuck Shiro had replied without thinking. It wasn’t that he _couldn’t_ use toys of course, he just didn’t like them, and now ~~Red~~ Keith was going to think he was a creep and that was probably way too much information. He watched in dread as the “…” of a pending reply blinked and blinked for what felt like minutes before the message appeared.

 

**redblade: oh sorry if I overstepped**

 

Oh god and now he’d made Keith feel awkward!

**SpacePanda: No, it's fine. I have nerve damage in one of my arms. I can use it fine but I don't feel much with it. I don't like using toys that I need to move because that either means touching myself with the numb hand or maneuvering the toy with it and that feels weird. I guess I can use them I just don't like to anymore**

 

The dreaded “…” appeared again.

 

**SpacePande: Sorry if I over-shared**

**redblade: No, it's fine. I hope it's not weird but I find that interesting. I want to be a physical therapist. It hadn't occurred to me until just now that I could help people with that part of their lives, too, not just walking and stuff like that. I guess you could say I’m excited? Sorry if I made this weird!**

 

Shiro smiled. ~~Red~~ Keith had a heart of gold (which did not surprise him in the slightest).

 

**SpacePanda: That's great. I’ve seen several physical therapists over the years and they made my life worth living again. I hope you keep going forward. It can make all the difference in someone’s quality of life in a lot of ways**

**redblade: Thanks Panda :)**

**redblade: I’m really glad to hear you’ve had great therapists**

**redblade: I hope to be able to have a positive impact in someone’s life like that :)**

**redblade: My friends just got here so I gotta go but it was nice talking to you. Hope to see you at my next stream ;)**

**SpacePanda: You can count on it. Have a nice night.**

 

Shiro shut his laptop. Well, he’d at least have to watch on more stream since he’d just promised Keith he’d be there without thinking. He’d bought himself a week to make up his mind about what to do next.

 

He read back over their chat and noticed that Keith had started using more formal messaging—punctuation and capitalization—after he’d revealed his injuries. That felt nice, like Keith had taken things more seriously and was actually talking to _him_ instead of flirting with a subscriber. He felt himself blushing and oh god he was so lost for this kid. Top that off with him wanting to be a physical therapist and damn. Just wrecked.

 

That night Shiro lay awake, trying to combat the feeling in his stomach, and if you asked him if it was nerves or butterflies he couldn’t have told you.

 

~*~*~

 

 Keith didn’t show up at the gym the next day and Shiro was only moderately heartbroken. It’s not like he expected to see Keith _everyday_ …he just wanted to. His spirits were roused by Matt (it was movie night) and he was in a fairly good mood by the time he made it home. He decided to check his messages (just in case).

 

(Because you never know).

 

(And he wasn’t desperate or smitten).

 

To his utter delight, Shiro saw Red had messaged him several times.

 

**redblade: I thought of a toy you might like! Since you won't have to move it**

**redblade: Suction cup dildo on the floor or the wall**

**redblade: Or are you able to bend like that or stay on your knees?**

**redblade: Sorry I shouldn't bother you about your injuries or accident**

 

The messages had been spread out throughout the day, like Keith had gotten worried because Shiro hadn’t responded. He wrote back immediately.

 

**SpacePanda: No it's fine. My therapists helped a lot. They inspired me to keep fit, so I have more strength and flexibility than before the accident. That kind of toy might work. I hadn’t thought about it. Thank you for the suggestion.**

 

Somehow it was easy to talk to Keith—at least like this. If only he could be a little less awkward when talking to him face-to-face! Shiro realized he had a stupid grin on his face. Keith had _thought_ about him and then came up with something to help him. He was blushing and almost giggling and was, frankly, ridiculous. He *might* have actually giggled when he heard the now-familiar ding alert of a message.

 

**redblade: I’m glad :)**

**redblade: I probably should’ve asked earlier but do you even like dildos? All you mentioned was not using toys.**

**redblade: And if it’s not too personal would you tell me if you are a guy or a girl and if you top or bottom? That would change the toy options**

 

Shiro’s hands absolutely did _not_ shake as he typed back.

 

**SpacePanda: Yes I like dildos but I don’t have any. I am a guy and top or bottom doesn’t matter. I just like my partner to be happy.**

 

He paused before sending his next message.

 

**SpacePanda: I’m bi if that makes a difference**

**SpacePanda: For your suggestions I mean**

**SpacePanda: Not that you need to keep thinking of things for me.**

**SpacePanda: Just if you were going to, there’s that.**

**SpacePanda: I prefer men.**

 

_I prefer you._

 

**SpacePanda: Sorry, I’ll shut up now.**

 

Memo to self: ask Matt to erase browser history if I die.

 

**redblade: Haha it’s fine**

**redblade: I don’t have a lot of experience with toys so it’s been fun to do research :)**

 

Oh god he’d actually been _researching_ toys for him to use. Yup. Definitely going to die. Blushing furiously, he started typing again.

 

**SpacePanda: Hands on research? ;)**

**redblade: That’s the best kind**

**redblade: You’ll have to watch my next show to find out ;)**

 

 

He flirted. He flirted and Keith flirted back. He wasn’t going to die—he was already dead and this was heaven.

 

They exchanged a handful more messages before Keith decided to go to bed. Shiro was tired, too, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop talking before Keith did. He thought about how fun and easy Keith was to talk to, how perfectly beautiful and adorable and sexy he was, how very thoughtful and kind. He opened up his phone and downloaded the chat app that went with Keith’s subscriptions. He wouldn’t want to make him worry again if he didn’t respond sooner.

 

It was the polite thing to do.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Keith was at the gym the next day and when Shiro greeted him he said “Hi Shiro” and his name had never sounded better. Keith also shyly asked him to be his spotter and Shiro didn’t do anything _too_ stupid and it was the best day ever (minus that ~~Keith~~ ~~Red~~ Keith didn’t message ~~Shiro~~ Panda). Shiro didn’t have shifts Friday or Saturday and he didn’t have the courage to message Keith first, so his next contact with his crush wasn’t until Sunday. Not only was Keith there, but he said “Missed you yesterday” to which Shiro said “You too” and then babbled for two minutes incoherently at his blunder. Keith smiled, though, so it was worth it. Keith also told him he wouldn’t be in Monday because he had a test to study for and Shiro wished him good luck and tried not to think too hard about how Keith had been polite enough to tell him that.

 

Tuesday.

 

Tuesday was the Next Stream and Shiro (almost) hoped Keith would skip gym because Shiro was incredibly, incredibly nervous and he still hadn’t made up his mind about what to do next. Keith, however, showed up, and dammit but he was even more stunning than Shiro had remembered. Shiro asked him how his test went and Keith blushed adorably and said he thought he’d done okay. Matt saw the entire thing (of course) and teased Shiro relentlessly later, telling him he needed to stop harassing the customers and making them blush.

 

Just before 8 PM, while Shiro was getting ready for the stream, he got a message from Keith:

 

**redblade: wish me luck ;P**

 

He was back to his old way of writing (the flirting-with-subscriber writing), but Shiro was only slightly disappointed, because Keith remembered him, even if it was just as a subscriber. He’d never messaged him before a stream, after all.

 

Keith’s perfect image appeared on his screen and he flashed his trademark shy smile.

 

“Hi guys! I’m in a really good mood today. I don’t know how many of you remember, but last week I talked about my crush on the Gorgeous Guy and guess what—I actually had the courage to say hi to him this week!” Keith beamed.

 

Shiro’s heart sank like a stone.

 

“I kinda made a fool of myself but he was super nice.” Keith looked practically dreamy as he sighed. The chat lit up with replies. “I haven’t made my weightlifting goals yet, so no, I’m not going to ask him. Yet,” he said, reading over the responses.

 

Shiro kicked himself. He already knew that Keith had a crush on someone, but somehow since he’d been able to spend so much time with him over the past week, he thought he might have moved up in the ranks or something. He was such an idiot.

 

“Okay, I’m going to turn the feed off for just one minute because I need to get something ready. I’ll be back with you guys in just a sec,” Keith said. He grinned cheekily and winked and the feed clicked off.

 

Shiro’s heart was as dark and his mind as blank as the dead feed. Not that he was being dramatic.

 

The feed started again and this time Keith was in what appeared to be his bathroom. He was already naked and looked extremely excited as he held up a suction cup dildo.

 

“I have someone in mind tonight,” he said.

 

The chat exploded with questions and Shiro stopped breathing. Wait—was it him or was it Gorgeous Guy? Obviously Gorgeous Guy. Don’t kid yourself, Shiro. He might have thought of you when he picked out the toy but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be _thinking_ about you when he uses it.

 

Keith laughed at the chat. “You guys are so dirty. I didn’t mean it that way. I’ve got a friend” (a friend!! Shiro noted happily) “that I’m helping figure out some toys. I’ve never had someone need my help with something like this before—sad little virgin that I am,” he chuckled. “This should be fun!”

 

Virgin.

 

Sad (?) little (??) virgin (??!!). It’s not that Shiro was a virgin-hunter or had particular views on purity or something, but it was shocking that someone as perfect as Keith had never been with anyone. Maybe he was waiting for the right one…? Chat seemed to have the same questions because it was a flurry of activity.

 

“Wow, didn’t think that many people would care. Um, thank you to all the kind offers to, uh, ‘help me out’, but I’m good. I lived in a rural country town until college, so I didn’t come out until I left. Pretty sure I was the only gay kid within a hundred miles, so, not a lot of opportunities. I’m not purposely trying to wait or anything and I’m not worried about it. It’s just that I haven’t had gay friends until recently, so this is all very new and I’m having a lot of fun. That’s it. Not trying to titillate you with my sexual history or anything like that. Uh, sorry if that seemed like I was being a tease?” he said, scratching his head and looking puzzled as he read through the chat. “Also,” he added with a chuckle, “if I had a boyfriend, I doubt he’d be cool with me showing you guys my ass every week. So looks like I’ll need to stay single for you, huh?” He winked.

 

Shiro was a mix of feelings: impressed by Keith’s maturity, disappointed that he was even more off limits than before, and also annoyed because Keith was teasing them about staying single when he was actively pursuing someone. To be honest, he wasn’t sure he was feeling up to a wank.

 

And then of course Keith just had to get on his knees, ass to the camera, and start teasing his hole. Okay, so yes, Shiro very much did feel up to a wank, thank you. Since Keith was on his bathroom floor, he was much closer to the camera than when he was on his bed, and fuck fuck fuck Shiro wanted to lick him, to flick his tongue and tease his hole until Keith was pressing back into him, straining to take more of his tongue and begging Shiro to never stop. He’d do it, too, for as long as he could. He’d lick Keith until his jaw ached and Keith was crying with pleasure.

 

Shiro wasn’t sure when he’d started touching himself but suddenly he was coming in his hand and Keith had only just added a second finger. He cleaned himself off somewhat sheepishly and settled back to enjoy the rest of the show (and probably another wank. Soon).

 

Shiro’s dick was stirring in interest within minutes as Keith finished working himself open and arranged the dildo on the floor. He raised his eyes to the camera as he lubed up the toy and then positioned himself over it.

 

“Wish me luck,” he said with a wink, and Shiro remembered the message Keith had sent him not even thirty minutes ago and shivered.

 

It wasn’t him. It wasn’t for him. Shiro’s mind tried to keep him in check but my god, the expression Keith made as he slowly, slowly sank onto the toy was too much. Shiro groaned louder than Keith did.

 

Keith kept his head tilted back and his eyes closed as he shifted and settled on the toy. His cock jutted out, fully erected and flushed dark red, a few drops of precum starting to leak out the tip. He steadied himself, lubed his hand and wrapped it around his cock, giving it a few experimental twists.

 

“Oh shit,” he muttered, shivering. He began to rise and sink, canting his hips as he found his rhythm. “Oh fuck fuck, I’m sorry,” he panted. “This will be quick, sorry sorry oh fuck fuck—“

 

Shiro matched the frantic pace Keith set, eyes black with want as he watched the younger man take himself apart. He couldn’t even imagine how glorious it would be for it to be _him_ Keith was riding, to have Keith sweating and swearing and breathless. Even the apologies were hot. He’d let—no he’d _want_ —Keith to be as slow or as fast as he wanted. He’d do anything to Keith, anything _for_ Keith, that he desired.

 

In what felt like mere moments Keith was arching and coming, white spurting from his hand and covering the floor. Shiro came just after him, moaning Keith’s name. He felt incredible but guilty—calling for Keith instead of Red, but it was only a hazy thought that the warm pleasure of his orgasm pushed gently away.

 

Keith collapsed forward on his hands and knees, panting hard. He slowly looked up at the camera, his eyes hooded and perfectly shaded by his long lashes. “Guys,” he said with a smirk, “I think I’m going to like cowgirl.” He laughed and carefully raised himself up off the dildo.

 

“Sorry to immediately bail on you guys, but my roommates are already awesome enough to give me space on Tuesdays, so I _have_ to clean up the bathroom before they get back or there will be hell to pay. You guys are great. Looking forward to next week already. See you,” he said with a wave and another little smile. The feed winked out.

 

Five minutes later Shiro was typing out a message.

 

**SpacePanda: I ordered it.**

**redblade: ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)**

**redblade: Think of me when you use it**

**SpacePanda: You don’t even have to ask.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why y'all love this as much as you do but I'm super glad. ^-^ I guess it shouldn't surprised me too much because I've read several camboy AUs for different fandoms and they were lots of fun, so why wouldn't y'all like this one, but I've never had so many kudos and comments and it's intimidating and fun. :)
> 
> How do you guys like Physical Therapist Keith? I think canon Keith is very driven to help people and since he's not a pilot or anything in this AU, it kinda fits...? Also, no prosthetic for Shiro. Just easier/makes more sense to me if there isn't a good reason for him to have access to crazy awesome tech. *shrug*
> 
> I'm like a third the way into the next chapter already. You guys are epic.
> 
> For useless posts, follow my tumblr: www.tumblr.com/decidedlysarah


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro talks to Matt, makes a decision, and then immediately disregards said decision. Keith has a problem and Shiro must help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are AWESOME and it's making me write faster and this fic is going to be longer than I thought!

Shiro met up with Matt the next morning to talk things through. He'd been up half the night debating what to do about Keith/Red and Matt cheerfully pointed out he looked like shit as he plopped into the seat across from him at the diner.

 

“Thanks, bud,” Shiro said wryly.

 

“What are friends for?” Matt said, flashing a grin. “You order for me?”

 

Shiro had in fact already ordered for both of them. They'd known each other since grade school and he knew that Wednesday mornings meant waffles (as did most mornings, to be honest, but a very young Matt had been fascinated that W's were upside down M's and he wanted to eat W foods because he was an M person so it made sense—and Waffle Wednesday was fun to say). Shiro had never questioned Matt's food logic and they'd been friends since.

 

Once their plates were placed in front of them, Matt started drizzling his waffles with generous amounts of syrup.

 

“How are you still so lean?” Shiro asked in disbelief.

 

“How are you so beefy?” Matt countered. “I eat more than you do and all I get for my effort is these baby guns,” he said, poking his own bicep, “while you barely nibble salad and you have those bazookas. Life is cruel.”

 

Shiro laughed good-naturedly. They both knew he tucked in a staggering amount of protein shakes and all of Matt's family was impressively trim. They played to their strengths, so to speak.

 

“Right, so let's bring this meeting of the Shiro Crisis Squad to order. How're things looking on the war front? Any news?”

 

“I watched his feed again last night, and uh... he used a toy he'd picked out for me. Well, for online me.”

 

Matt leaned in, excited. “Oh?” he smirked. “And now for the big question: what's your username?”

 

“SpacePanda,” Shiro muttered into his coffee mug.

 

Matt practically hooted with laughter. “You do me proud, son. Okay, so tell me why Porn Guy picked a toy for you, because that um, doesn't seem like a usual part of customer service? Or is it?”

 

“No, it's definitely unusual,” Shiro said, scratching the back of his neck. “We happened to talk on the chat system,” (“I remember you mentioned that,” Matt nodded) “and well, we somehow talked about toys, and I was embarrassed and maybe said I don't use them anymore because of my hand being numb, so he decided to find me toys that I could use anyway.”

 

Matt stared, openmouthed, his fork paused mid flight. “Damn, dude. That's actually really nice. Is that nice? It sounds nice. Almost cute. Holy heck that kid has a heart of gold, doesn't he?”

 

Shiro was blushing hard, partly from embarrassment and partly from a misplaced pride. “Yeah, he's incredible. We didn't exactly talk about the accident or anything, but I told him I'd seen physical therapists before and he got excited because he wants to be a physical therapist and he hopes he can have a big impact on someone's life like they had on mine, and I am so, so fucked for this guy,” Shiro said. He was hiding his face in his hands from pure mortification at this point.

 

“Oh my god,” Matt said quietly, “you have to tell him.”

 

“Tell him what? That I've been nursing a giant crush on him and I've been kind-of-accidentally-on-purpose stalking him?”

 

“Well yes, for a start,” Matt said reasonably, stabbing up another load of waffle, “but whatever you do, you have to let him know you're the SpacePanda.”

 

“Why? Why do I have to do that?” Shiro asked desperately. “He even said on the last feed he's making progress with his crush and he so _happy_ about it. What does he gain from knowing I'm SpacePanda except a super awkward workout experience?”

 

Matt shook his head. “Not the point. This guy Keith, I've only barely spoken a dozen sentences with him but even from that much I _know_ he's a good person and not just your type of boyfriend but your type of _friend_. I think you might have found something important here, and if there's even a 1 in 100 chance you want to pursue this, you need to tell him who you are right now, because every second you go without confessing just makes it harder for you guys to have a stable start, okay? Especially because he's done something genuine for you. And by the way—he looks at you like I look at breakfast food. He might have a crush on someone else but you bet your chiseled ass you're on his radar.”

 

“I doubt it’s like that, Matt, and even if it were, I doubt he’d still be interested after all the clothes come off. I look like I went through a meat grinder,” Shiro said with a wince.

 

Matt narrowed his eyes and pointed his fork at his friend. “Okay, the closest I’m going to come to that is to say that if there was a meat grinder involved, it looks like you fell in and then flexed your way out of it. Also, doesn’t Meat Grinder sound like a scary sex move, like a code name for a really aggressive hand job?”

 

Shiro’s bark of laughter turned several heads as half a dozen fellow diners gave him a scowl. Shiro suppressed the rest of his laugh with his hands, snickering with shaking shoulders. Matt grinned his approval.

 

“Okay, now that you’re not moping, here’s the thing: yes, you have scars. A lot of ‘em. But, do you _really_ think Keith is the kind of guy who would care? Do you really think he’s that shallow? I’m not even going to talk about your perfect jaw or stupidly attractive face or inhumanely massive muscles—you’re a catch. Period. And if Keith is half as nice as I think he is, you don’t need to worry about anything.”

 

Shiro actually blushed from his friend’s praise. He wasn’t obsessed with looks (really) and he didn’t work out to try to make up for his defects; he was just being realistic. Scars weren’t for everyone (and he wasn’t sure he’d want to be with someone who had a scar kink—they were painful reminders of the worst experience of his life and he found the idea of that being a fetish very uncomfortable). Keith, though… Keith understood injuries and the body, and he was eager to be helpful. He probably would be fine with Shiro’s body, but…Keith was the physical embodiment of perfection. He could have his pick of absolutely anyone, so why the hell would he ever want Shiro?

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

When Shiro walked into work later that day, he was surprised to discover that Keith was already there and he wasn’t using a machine or free weights. He was boxing. Well, it would be more accurate to say he was wearing gloves and beating the shit out of the punching bag, but his form was clearly from boxing. Shiro approached, concerned.

 

“Hi Keith. Everything okay? You look…tense,” Shiro said.

 

Keith gave the bag one more particularly vicious blow and stood back, sweating and clearly angry. He scowled but tried to relax his expression before answering, “Yeah, just stressed.”

 

“Sorry to hear that. Was it your test from Monday or…?” Shiro said, uncertain if it was okay to inquire further but desperately wanting to help.

 

Keith shook his head and sighed. “No, just…,” he trailed off and frowned and then shook his head again. “Sorry, I don’t want to unload on you.”

 

Shiro instinctively placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder to reassure him and then immediately wanted to kick himself for touching Keith without asking. For his part, Keith flinched but then relaxed into the touch and closed his eyes.

 

“It’s fine,” Shiro said softly. “You can tell me if you want but don’t feel pressured to say anything if you’re not comfortable.”

 

Keith took in a deep breath and then let it out. “One of my scholarships fell through. I’m going to have cut back on a lot of things and since one of things I need to lose is my gym membership, I thought I should make the most of it and let off steam.”

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Shiro said gently. “Is there anything I can do?”

 

“No, no. Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out,” Keith said. He looked uncomfortable so Shiro let go of his shoulder.

 

“There is… well, there is something I can do,” Shiro said, biting his lip. “I have a family/friend guest pass you can use. It’s a job perk and I don’t have anyone to give it to, so it’s really no big deal. You couldn’t, um live here, haha, but you could still come in twice a week,” Shiro stumbled in a rush.

 

Keith met his eyes for the first time. He searched Shiro’s face and Shiro tried desperately not to falter under that consuming gaze. Shiro had no idea what Keith was thinking, but whatever it was, it was very intense. He remembered Matt’s ridiculous theory about Keith being attracted to him and found himself blushing (even more than he always did when Keith was even remotely nearby).

 

“No pressure of course. I know you have fitness goals and it’d be a shame if you couldn’t keep progressing. I can tell you’re dedicated and well, it’s good for students to be able to exercise and stuff right?” Shiro had the distinct impression his voice was too high, but honestly he couldn’t actually _hear_ himself speak when Keith looked at him like that.

 

Keith held up his hands. “No, no sorry! I wasn’t doubting you or turning you down or anything. I was just shocked. Um, that’s really great. That’d be nice. Thank you.”

 

Shiro’s heart was soaring. His skin was clear and his crops were flourishing. He wished he could go to Keith’s university and fight whoever messed up the scholarship. He wished he could just buy the gym and give it to Keith. Probably a bit too much too soon.

 

“Happy to help,” Shiro said. “If you think of anything else, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Keith said shyly. “Thanks.”

 

Another patron waved Shiro down with a question, so Keith said goodbye and Shiro went to help (never more reluctantly). On his way out, Keith stopped to ask Shiro his work schedule.

 

“I’d like to use my guest pass on the days you’re here to say thank you. N-not that me coming in when you’re here would be a thank you gift or something I just like, um, your help and um maybe I can find someway to repay you,” he stammered, blushing and turning the most adorable color of pink.

 

Shiro _might_ have stared at Keith’s perfect lips (which he was biting, and Shiro had never been jealous of someone else’s teeth before) a _tad_ too long before snapping out of it to smile and assure Keith he’d be delighted for Keith to come by during his shifts and not to worry at all about repaying him in any way.

 

After Keith left, Shiro hurried to the break room to pull out his phone and message Red as Panda. The one good thing about having two identities is he could offer twice as much help. Well, he couldn’t really offer help as Panda because Panda shouldn’t know anything, but…it was worth a shot.

 

**SpacePanda: Hi there. Just wondering how your day is going. Loved your stream yesterday. It meant a lot that you wanted to help me, so thank you.**

 

Keith messaged him back almost immediately. Shiro was really starting to love the specific ding alert the chat system used. Music.

 

**redblade: aww, glad you liked it ;)**

**redblade: Actually, my day was pretty shitty but it just got better. Had someone offer me help with something and it was really nice**

**SpacePanda: Sorry to hear your day was bad. Anything I can do to help?**

**redblade: No but thanks for asking**

**redblade: I gotta go, but talk to you later maybe?**

**SpacePanda: Love to. Hope your day gets better**

**redblade: :)**

 

~*~*~

 

 

That night Shiro dreamed he was messaging Keith.

 

_**Shiro: Are you flirting with me?** _

_**Keith: I'm not trying hard enough if you have to ask** _

_**Shiro: What about Gorgeous Guy?** _

_**Keith: What about him? Aren’t you my guy?** _

_**Shiro: I’m not gorgeous.** _

_**Keith: ;)** _

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Shiro awoke the next morning to find that Keith had actually messaged him last night, but the contents of the message were far, far different from his dream.

 

**redblade: hello to my delux subscribers! I’m having a bit of money trouble irl right now so I thought I’d see if you guys were interested in side orders for private shows**

**redblade: *fingers crossed***

**redblade: no pressure but seriously every little bit helps**

 

Fuck. Fuck fuck _fuck_ he was an idiot. How would offering a few free gym sessions help when Keith had lost a whole scholarship? Of course that was just a drop in the bucket! He was probably now a few thousand dollars poorer than he had been before. Shiro felt sick. He desperately wanted to help Keith but he had a feeling that Keith was the type of person who insisted on earning everything. Shiro already knew he was a hard worker. _Asking_ for help probably didn’t even cross his mind.

 

**SpacePanda: How much do you need?**

 

Shiro’s heart pounded hard. Please accept please accept please accept. I know I’m a creepy guy but I swear really just want to help you.

 

**redblade: Hi Panda :)**

**redblade: I’m thinking a $25 minimum but that depends what you want to see**

**redblade: what are you interested in?**

 

Shiro took a deep breath.

 

**SpacePanda: How much money do you need total**

 

The “…” again.

 

**redblade: um, I’m not even sure how to answer that**

**SpacePanda: I know it’s probably weird for me to ask. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.**

**SpacePanda: I have the money. You know I was in an accident. It was a car crash. My parents died. There was a really big life insurance payout. I have the money and I swear I’m not trying to be a creep.**

 

After five minutes, Shiro tried again.

 

**SpacePanda: I haven’t been with anyone since the accident. You have no idea how much it meant to me that you wanted to find toys for me. I haven’t had anyone interested in that side of me for a very long time.**

**SpacePanda: If this makes you uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll stop bothering you.**

 

Shiro had just about given up on a response when a message appeared.

 

**redblade: $5000**

 

Shiro’s heart slammed in his chest.

 

**SpacePanda:: I have it.**

 

Please accept please accept please accept. I swear I have it and I don’t need it and even if I did I _want_ to give it to you.

 

**redblade: Is it okay if I think about it?**

**redblade: Not gonna lie, taking that much money from one person feels weird.**

**redblade: Having a public stream is one thing and offering a side deal for my delux subscribers isn't a big deal to me, but taking money from just one person feels like…I guess like I got bought? Does that make sense?**

**redblade: I know you don’t mean it like that. I know we really don’t know each other and I guess I shouldn’t trust you as much as I do, but…**

**redblade: I’m really going to need to think about this**

 

Shiro’s hands definitely trembled as he typed his reply.

 

**SpacePanda: Take all the time you need.**

**SpacePanda: There is no expiration date on this offer.**

**SpacePanda: You don’t need to give me a private show. This is a gift. If a show makes you more comfortable, that is fine too.**

 

Shiro chewed his lip as he considered what else to say. He wanted to explain himself, but maybe it was better to just give Keith space.

 

**redblade: If I say no are you going to tip me the money anyway?**

 

Okay, that Shiro had not expected. It was a fair question, though. It hadn't crossed his mind, but now that the thought was there, it was hard not to just deposit the amount.

 

**SpacePanda: It would be a lie to say I'm not tempted. But no. I will respect your decision.**

**redblade: Thanks. I'll let you know tomorrow.**

**SpacePanda: Take all the time you need.**

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Shiro was a ghost all day. He was actually grateful that Keith didn't visit the gym. It wasn't just the nerves of seeing Keith before he'd made up his mind—Shiro realized he'd sealed his own fate. He could never date Keith. Not that he ever had a chance in hell, of course, but he could never tell Keith that he was SpacePanda. He might not know Keith well, but he did know that Keith would be extremely uncomfortable being offered $5000 from someone he _knew_. The anonymity the Internet provided was what allowed him to even _consider_ taking the money. A faceless benefactor. And there was no way Shiro could date Keith without being fully honest with him, so that was that. The offer was given, and that was the end of it.

 

Shiro was...well, he was definitely sad about it, and a little annoyed with himself for not thinking it through before he offered the money. But, he was mostly at peace. He would infinitely prefer a world where he never dated Keith but Keith had the money he needed to achieve this goals than one where he had Keith but Keith lost the thing he was working toward. And, well, if he “ruined” everything by being overeager to help, that wasn't such a bad thing. He'd fucked things up in relationships before with way less selfless methods. At least this way he'd offered Keith something that could truly help him.

 

Too depressed to talk to Matt about it, Shiro was grateful that Matt simply accepted his request for space and agreed to tell his friend why his face looked like he'd “fed his muscle juices pure lemons” (whatever the hell that meant) once he felt a bit more grounded.

 

He kept his phone's alert volume turned to max in case Keith messaged him.

 

It remained silent all night.

 

~*~*~

 

 

 **redblade:** **Okay, I've thought about it. I'll accept the $5000 as a gift**

**redblade: But with one condition**

**redblade: Holy shit dude I got the tip before you even let me finish my last message**

**redblade: Okay, um, I guess that means you really didn't have any hesitation, haha**

**SpacePanda: Sorry. I was really hoping you'd say yes.**

**Redblade: I can see that damn**

**SpacePanda: Sorry again. What is the condition? Can I still accommodate that?**

 

Shiro died a little waiting for Keith to respond and it was several minutes before the “...” appeared again.

 

**redblade: Wow I was actually shaking. Shit. Didn't think I'd feel this relieved damn**

**redblade: Had to go tell my roommates and they were giving me shit**

**redblade: In a good way**

**redblade: One of them just called you a guardian porn angel**

**redblade: Annnnnd now they're calling you a sugar daddy**

**redblade: Sorry**

**redblade: You didn't need to know that**

 

Shiro chuckled. He wished he could meet Keith's friends.

 

**SpacePanda: It's fine. I'm very happy you're feeling better. What is the condition?**

**redblade: Kinda weird, but I hope you'll understand.**

**redblade: I wanted the $5000 to be a gift but I still want to give you a private show**

**redblade: So I guess you helped me make that distinction by giving the money before I could even offer the show, haha.**

**redblade: I hope that made sense**

**SpacePanda: It's a gift. Your show to me. Also a gift? I think that's what you meant.**

**redblade: Yes! Exactly.**

**redblade: And I have some ideas**

**redblade: Unless you want me to do something in particular...?**

 

Shiro closed his eyes and summoned his courage. There was absolutely something he wanted—and in this way, he could have it. Almost.

 

**SpacePanda: Say my name when you come.**

**redblade: Holy shit dude**

**redblade: Is it weird if that's hot?**

**redblade: But I am NOT going to shout “SpacePanda” lol sorry**

**redblade: I have to draw the line somewhere ;)**

**SpacePanda: Takashi. My name is Takashi**

**redblade: Okay Takashi :)**

**redblade: Let me tell you what I'm thinking of**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get you the chapter right away, so I'm posting now (even though there isn't smut). The next scene is smut, though, so yay.
> 
> Also, holy frick you people love this story and I love you and Keith and Shiro love each other. It's just a big lovefest up in here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gives Shiro a private stream. Shiro fucks up royally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a shorter chapter, but I really wanted to update today!

It took several days for Shiro's schedule to align with Keith's and for him to get the item in the mail Keith had him order (which he might've had overnighted, weekend rates be damned). He saw Keith at the gym twice in that time. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would (but it did hurt). He could see how much more relaxed Keith was now. Knowing he'd helped Keith was the best possible balm for his disappointed heart. The idea of the private show didn't hurt, either.

 

Monday night rolled around and Shiro was very, very nervous and very, _very_ horny. He hadn't even touched himself and was half hard before Keith messaged him.

 

**redblade: Hi Panda! Are you about ready?**

**SpacePanda: Hi red. Yes I'm ready.**

**redblade: Great! My roommates just left so I'll start the stream in a minute**

 

Shiro had never been so grateful to live alone than he was in that moment. He felt _ridiculous_ but exhilarated. But here he was, naked, lube and tissues at the ready with his laptop set up and his toy cleaned and his phone beside him. He was sweating and his heart was hammering and he was probably going to come within the first minute but at least Keith wouldn't see it.

 

At last the stream flicked on and there was Keith in all his perfection. His black hair was tied back in a low ponytail (just like how he did at the gym and Shiro was so far gone it wasn't funny). He was naked and grinning, sitting on his bed and looking like delicious mischief. He waved.

 

“Hi Panda! Feels a little more intimidating with only one viewer instead of a hundred, haha.”

 

**SpacePanda: Hi red. No pressure :)**

**SpacePanda: Not here to judge**

 

Keith laughed. “No, you're here to come. Let's see what we can do about that,” he said with a wink. “Okay, here's the deal: I'm going to tell you where and how you can touch yourself, and you are not allowed to touch your cock until I say so.”

 

Shiro nodded, breathless, and Keith stared meaningfully at the camera until he snapped out of his daze to respond.

 

**SpacePanda: Tell me where to start**

 

“Hmm,” Keith said, cocking his head and considering. His hands idly wandered over his body and Shiro desperately wished it was his body those hands were exploring. Keith smiled and settled on his back. “Right now you need to do what I do.” One hand brushed lightly over his nipple, barely touching it in slow swirls, and his skin harden and peaked in the loveliest color. Shiro mirrored the action, surprised to find himself sensitive and responsive. He moved his hand to his other nipple and repeated the actions, copying and obeying Keith.

 

Keith's hand trailed south, pausing to fondle his balls, finger resting against his hole. He applied the slightest pressure and made a lovely noise, somewhere between a sigh and whimper. He always took a long time at this stage, letting anticipation build. Shiro had thought it was for the audience, the show, but now he wondered if perhaps that was how Keith liked to be touched—gentle like a hint, light like a promise.

 

Keith applied lube and Shiro followed suit. He hadn't fingered himself for a long time and was suddenly nervous. The last time had been a disaster. Opening himself with his normal hand was fine, but that left him with the numb one to rub his cock. It felt like someone else was touching him. Some people might enjoy it. Shiro _hated_ it. It made him feel alone, like even his own body had left him.

 

But he wasn't alone. Keith was with him, smiling shyly just for him and easing the tip of one finger inside himself, sliding it slowly, and pulling out again. Shiro pressed into himself. It didn't feel good. Or bad. It felt...new. He hadn't done this in years. Watching how Keith responded to the slightest pressures was addicting, and soon he was staring at Keith's face instead of his fingers and damn. It was easy to imagine that it was his fingers doing that to Keith—that by copying the movements he made Keith feel that way. He remembered it—the way to touch and open and feel and he was growing breathless.

 

Keith glanced to the camera a few times to smile as his fingers worked deeper. It suddenly occurred to Shiro that Keith was used to an audience, to having feedback from his viewers. Chat always had someone shouting encouragement or instructions or _something_.

 

**SpacePanda: Hard to type with one hand**

**SpacePanda: but I'm here**

 

Keith read the message and smiled, eyes half closed. “I know you are, baby.”

 

If Shiro had been stroking his cock instead of his hole he would have come right then and there. As it was, he stopped dead and stared at the screen, breathing hard, trying not to pass out. That been for him. To him. Keith had called him baby. He closed his eyes and steadied himself, heart pounding hard but hollow because Keith would never say to it _Shiro_ and maybe taking the next best thing wasn't a good idea after all. Keith made a particularly beautiful little whimper and Shiro opened his eyes.

 

His fingers were moving deep and fast now and he swirled his wrist. Shiro picked up speed, feeling himself stretch and relax in time to Keith's motions and damn but okay, yes, this did feel good. He was ready for more. He _wanted_ more. He reached out his free hand to type.

 

**SpacePanda: It's good**

 

Keith read the message and his eyes turned a little sad. “Is it not usually?” he asked softly.

 

**SpacePanda: I don't know. I haven't done this in years**

 

Keith nodded. “Let's make it memorable, okay?” he smiled. He looked a bit nervous as he pulled out his fingers and sat up a little. He picked up a vibrating dildo, identical to the one sitting next to Shiro. He licked his lips (whether from nerves or something else Shiro had no clue but _damn_ ) and carefully coated it with a generous amount of lube. “Follow what I do.”

 

Shiro did. He eased the tip of the toy into himself, feeling and relishing the stretch.

 

“Don't close your eyes. Keep watching me,” Keith said, and Shiro was more than a little surprised to realize he had been closing his eyes and then spent several seconds panicking that this might somehow be a two-way stream before remembering the program didn't have that option. No, it was just Keith, somehow knowing how his body was responding (or just being uncannily that amazing, which was also possible).

 

Shiro felt the sensation to his bones as he eased the toy in deep, watching its twin disappear inch by inch into Keith. He waited, trembling, for Keith's next instruction.

 

Keith looked into the camera with another shy smile and then reached for his phone. Shiro grabbed his as well.

 

“I'm going to start with a low setting for you. You can pick what you want for me,” Keith said coyly.

 

It had been an incredible idea—vibrating dildos designed for long-distance lovers, remotely controlled via phones and passcodes. Keith had apparently discovered them during his toy research and naturally had not found them useful for either his show or for Shiro as the whole point was to have a partner, so he hadn't mentioned them. But oh _fuck_ when the first vibration hummed through his body, Shiro was so, so glad Keith had thought to use them for this. It was intensely intimate and so fucking good and he hadn't had that kind of stimulation in years and shit it was _good_.

 

“Is it working?” Keith asked, biting his lip and looking almost worried. Fuck. Shiro had forgotten to respond.

 

**SpacePanda: Too good**

**SpacePanda: Sorry**

 

Keith chuckled. “You're a very inattentive lover, but that's okay given the circumstances. You can just lie back and let me handle things, baby.”

 

And fucking hell why did Keith have to call him his lover? Because that stung to hell and was hot as fuck and Keith was breaking him without knowing it and Shiro did know it and this is what he'd signed up for. He sent a command through his phone.

 

“Oh _fuck_!” Keith shouted, his eyes wide. “Shit _shit_ is that it's like for you?” he gasped breathlessly. “What setting is this?!”

 

Shiro could barely type but it was worth it.

 

S **pacePanda: ;)**

 

“You cocky mother-fu—“ Keith started saying before throwing back his head with a loud groan as Shiro mercilessly upped the setting. His free hand scrambled on his bed, gripping the sheets. Shiro could see the sweat glistening on his lithe body. His hips stuttered and his mouth hung slack. Shiro dialed the setting back again.

 

“Mmm. It's nice,” Keith murmured. He adjusted the position of the toy and massaged himself, practically purring at the sensation.

 

Shiro was trembling. He experimented with the depth and angle along with Keith and suddenly gasped hard, cursing, as Keith upped the setting again. He clenched hard around the toy and felt the pooling heat in his groin, growing and urgent. He was shaking with the need to come but he obeyed Keith's earlier command. He watched Keith groaning and bucking, silently begging Keith to touch himself and put them both out of their pleasant, perfect misery.

 

Finally, Keith reached for himself with a shaking hand and grasped his cock, tugging it slowly.

 

“Takashi,” Keith whimpered.

 

Fuck.

 

“Takashi, _please_.”

 

Three harsh strokes and Shiro was coming hard, shaking and trembling and cursing and begging and Keith was perfect and god he was _still coming._ When his pleasure finally released him, Shiro quickly manually turned off his own dildo (there is a thing about over-sensitivity which demands speed) and grabbed his phone to set Keith's dial to maximum, causing the younger man to sob his name gratefully as he came. He eased the him through his orgasm, dialing down the settings before turning it off as Keith lay still, panting hard.

 

“So good,” Keith groaned weakly. He winced as he pulled out the toy a little too quickly and then slung his arm over his face. “Uggh. I suck. That was supposed to be about you.”

 

**SpacePanda: I came before you did**

**SpacePanda: And watching you come like that would have made me finish anyway**

 

“You're good for my ego, you know that?” Keith said with a lop-sided grin. He cleaned himself off and then rolled over onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows, hands tucked up under his chin. He studied the screen for a moment. “I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now,” he half laughed. “Can't exactly cuddle.”

 

**SpacePanda: Tell me about your day**

 

Keith grinned and brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. “You're such a sweetheart, Panda. Even your name is cute. Why are you so nice to me anyway?”

 

**SpacePanda: Why wouldn't I want to be nice to a cute guy with a great ass?**

 

“Oh you like my ass?” Keith said playfully. “I could have changed position for you, you know. Given you a great view”

 

**SpacePanda: All of you is a great view**

 

“Ugggh, see you're going to make me super cocky and arrogant and no one wants to see that, trust me,” Keith said, ducking his head a bit and blushing.

 

**SpacePanda: I love seeing your cock**

 

“Haha, how did I know you were going to say that. You're so lame,” Keith said, rolling his eyes but grinning anyway. He yawned suddenly and stretched a bit. “Mmm. That was... really nice. Hey Takashi? Is this what actual sex is like?”

 

Shiro had no idea what to say that, and not just because Keith said his name. What did he mean? The banter? What was Keith feeling? He willed himself to think of an answer but his hands stayed on the keyboard without moving.

 

Keith waited a moment and then made a sort of shrug. “You don't have to answer that.” He looked away, chewing on his lip with a little crease in his eyebrows. “I'm pretty tired. Is it okay if I leave now?”

 

**SpacePanda: Of course. Thank you very much for the private stream.**

 

“No problem, Panda. Thanks for the orgasm and the $5k,” Keith said with a hint of a smile and a twinge of mischief in his eyes. Goodnight!” The stream blacked out.

 

Shiro had fucked up. He wasn't sure what he should've said, but he should've said _something_. He got up to clean the vibrator and take a shower, all the while trying very hard not to think about how perfect his name sounded on Keith's lips.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Shiro felt like shit the next morning. He was, in a way, very impressed with himself for managing to make things worse at every turn, but it was time to stop. He'd made his choice with Keith, so now he needed to man up and move on. He'd be polite and helpful at the gym and he'd message Red when (if?) Red messaged first. He'd watch a stream or so until he faded from Red's memory and then that would be that. Maybe he'd keep his account active so Keith still got the subscription money. Maybe not. Once Keith hit his weightlifting goals and asked Gorgeous Guy out, he'd probably unsubscribe either way. There was being a softie and then there was being an idiot, and he needed to stop being the latter.

 

He was on his way to work when Keith messaged him.

 

**redblade: Sorry if I made things weird yesterday**

 

Shiro grimaced. Of course Keith would apologize when Shiro was the one who'd messed up.

 

**SpacePanda: It's fine. I just didn't understand your question and wasn't sure what to say**

**redblade: I'm not even sure what I meant so don't worry about it**

**SpacePanda: Okay**

 

That was a relief at least. The last thing Shiro wanted was for Keith to feel awkward about the private stream. It wasn't Keith's fault that Shiro had hang ups.

 

He had the first shift of the day, so instead of leaving his phone in the break room he kept it on him as he set up, just in case Keith messaged him again. More importantly, he needed to text Matt and have a manly heart-to-heart and then set up a time for a manly guy's night out. He'd kept Matt out of the loop for too long. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to his friend when another message appeared.

 

**redblade: So we're cool?**

**SpacePanda: Well, one of us is :)**

**redblade: See what I mean about you and my ego?**

**SpacePanda: Who says I meant you?**

 

Shiro chuckled and pocketed his phone. Why did Keith have to be so easy to talk to? Maybe he could just stay friends with him as Panda. He'd have to consult Matt.

 

He turned his head as the door opened. It was Keith. Keith was never this early.

 

And shit. Shit-shit-shit Keith was on his phone, smiling as he typed something.

 

The familiar alert of an incoming message dinged loudly from his pocket and time froze. Keith looked up at him and his eyes slowly widened as the pieces came into place. Shiro pulled out his phone, praying that by some miracle it wasn't Keith who had just sent a message, all the while knowing that the alert was unique to that app and there was no mistaking it.

 

**redblade: You're such a dork ;) Gotta go now but I'll talk to you later?**

 

Shiro wrenched his eyes away from his phone and looked at Keith. He'd gone pale.

 

“What is your full name?” Keith asked, his voice a hoarse whisper. He was shaking.

 

Shiro felt sick. His mind was begging him to lie but he couldn't do that. Not to Keith. “Takashi. Takashi Shirogane.”

 

Keith looked like he'd been struck. His fists clenched and his eyes suddenly blazed a purple fire. “Fuck you,” he said tightly.

 

Before Shiro could respond he was gone.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it mean enough for you? XD Once these dweebs finally get themselves together, I want to have a big finale for them, so depending on how long that scene (scenes?) take, it *might* be two more chapters instead of one. This boys don't always behave the way I want them to, though, so we'll see what they decide to do. >_>


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which apologies are made and Matt tries very hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this update going to be the rest of the story? Yes. Did my computer think it would be fun to blue screen and eat half the smut scene? Yes. Did I decide to say "fuck it, I'll finish that tomorrow"? Also yes.

 

Shiro spent the day in a daze. It wasn't until Matt came by after work and yelled at him for not messaging Keith that he realized he hadn't even tried to contact him.

 

**SpacePanda: I'm so sorry. I should have told you. Can we talk?**

**SpacePanda: I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry.**

 

He shut his phone, worried that he would begin to ramble and thought Keith probably needed space. The next notification he got was a broad message to all subscribers, apologizing and saying there would be no stream as something had come up. He felt sick.

 

“Why aren't you drinking more beer?” Matt asked later that night. He'd absolutely insisted that Shiro come over, spill all the details, and watch crappy movies.

 

“Because I don't want to get drunk?” Shiro said with a miserable smile. After his sixth time checking his messages without having heard an alert, Matt had confiscated Shiro's phone.

 

“Whaaaaaaat,” Matt said incredulously. “It doesn't matter if _you_ want to. You broke your crush's heart: you have to get drunk. Them's the rules.”

 

Shiro winced. “Do you really think I broke his heart?”

 

Matt scrunched up his face. “Well, I mean, you are his friend and you had an intimate thing going and you betrayed his trust, so yeah?”

 

“Ouch, dude,” Shiro said. “Completely fair, but ouch. But, he's been crushing on someone else for months, so I don't think I rank a heartbreak.”

 

“Bro, if you ever dumped me, I'd be heartbroken. Doesn't always have to be romantic, ya know?”

 

“Bro, I'd never dump you,” Shiro said, a little emotional from his small quantity of beer.

 

“Bro,” Matt agreed solemnly.

 

They ended up falling asleep on the couch and both woke up worse for the wear, stiff and uncomfortable. Shiro took Matt out for waffles (it was Wednesday), figuring he more than owed him one considering how much drama he'd caused in the past few weeks. They parted ways after breakfast and Matt relinquished Shiro's phone. Shiro waited until he was alone before trying one last message to Keith.

 

**SpacePanda: If you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I deserve it. If you ever change your mind you know how to contact me.**

 

His phone immediately chimed a response.

 

**This user has blocked your account.**

 

Shiro could hardly be surprised, but the noise he made sounded like a sob anyway. He was late to work that day.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Keith missed his workouts for the rest of the week.

 

 

~*~*~

 

 

Tuesday marked one week since the Incident. Shiro wondered if Keith would be doing a stream. Not that it mattered—he was blocked—but part of him hoped he would. If Keith wasn't coming to the gym it made sense: he was avoiding Shiro and that was fine. If he wasn't streaming, though, it meant he was still hurt. Maybe he'd get on the site to see. Not that he could watch the stream, but perhaps it would give a notification that the streamer was live? Matt smacked him on the back of the head before he could finish the thought. He turned to protest when he noticed that Matt was pointing excitedly toward the window.

 

“12 o'clock 12 o'clock!!! Incoming!!!” he hissed. Keith was standing outside.

 

“He's not at my 12, Matt. He's at my 3,” Shiro said faintly.

 

“Not the goddamn point! Am I running interference? Do you need me to cover for you while you hide? What do I do!?!?”

 

“Thanks Matt, but I think I'm the one who's supposed to panic right now,” Shiro said, panicking very much but on the inside, thank you. “If he wants to talk to me, I'll talk to him. If doesn't want to talk to me...I'm sure he'll make it clear.”

 

“Roger roger! I'll just...I'll go dust something,” Matt said, darting away.

 

“You don't even work here,” Shiro called after him.

 

Keith opened the door and slowly approached the desk, looking both awkward and angry. “Hey,” he said.

 

“Hey,” Shiro said. Had he just squeaked? No. Surely not.

 

Keith took a deep breath and released it slowly. “What time do you get off? I don't know your schedule this week.”

 

“Right now,” Shiro said without thinking. “Well, shit, um in two hours, but right now if you want. Seriously. Matt will cover the front.” If he's not too busy dusting.

 

Keith shook his head. “Two hours is fine. See you then.”

 

“See you,” Shiro said, impressed with himself for being able to speak around the lump in his throat.

 

Matt practically pounced on him the second the door shut behind Keith and Shiro batted him away, explaining the situation. Matt proceeded to stay with him for the rest of the two hours—allegedly to distract him so time went faster—and mostly succeeded in making sure Shiro was completely wound up by the time he finished closing. In fairness, he would have been wound up anyway.

 

Keith was waiting for him outside, slumped against the side of the building with his arms crossed.

 

“Hey,” Shiro said. He cleared his throat. “Hey,” he repeated. Smooth.

 

Keith pushed off the wall. “Hey,” he said. “Okay if we talk?”

 

Shiro nodded. Words. What were words again? “There's a diner down the street. My treat,” he added.

 

“Sure. Least you can do,” Keith frowned. “Actually no, I've had enough of your money.”

 

Shiro stood awkwardly. “Uh, so no diner, or...?”

 

Keith sighed and smacked his forehead. “Sorry, that was petty. Yeah, diner is fine. And you can pay if you want.”

 

Ten minutes of awkward silence later, they were seated across from each other in one of the diner's comfy booths, both having ordered food they weren't really planning to eat.

 

Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I am royally pissed at you. But, my friends say I need to give you the chance to explain yourself. So, on the off chance you're the kind of guy I thought you were—hope you _are_ —you'll be honest and answer my questions. Okay?”

 

Shiro nodded perhaps a little too eagerly. “Yes, anything. Ask me anything.”

 

“Why did play around with me like that?” Keith asked, his eyes hard.

 

Shiro felt his shoulders slump and his heart fall. “I wasn't playing with you,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

 

Keith's face practically crumbled. “Then what the _hell_ were you doing?”

 

Shiro ran his hands through his hair. “I'd been watching Red Blade for months and when you showed up in the gym, I had no idea what to do. I thought it would freak you out to have some creepy old guy saying he watched your porn and if I told you online then I was worried you'd think I was...stalking you, I guess?”

 

Keith nodded, keeping his expression neutral. “And the money?”

 

“Just a gift. I swear.”

 

“And you have $5000 spare dollars just lying around but you're working at a gym because...?”

 

“It's insurance money, like I said. I was in a car accident when I was 17. My parents died and they both had large life insurance policies. I work at the gym because if I didn't I'd go insane,” Shiro said. The raw honesty of it hurt. He'd never talked about any of this with anyone except Matt's family. “And all that I said about my physical therapists—they got me hooked on working out. Getting better gave me something to work for after...well, you weren't asking about all that. Sorry. What's your next question?”

 

“Is your hand really numb?”

 

Shiro had not expected that. Cautiously, he held out his right hand and Keith looked it over.

 

“There's not really anything to see. Not sure why I did that,” he mumbled, suddenly very embarrassed. “But yeah, I'm missing about 80% sensation from my shoulder down on that side.”

 

Keith ran his fingers lightly over Shiro's palm and looked up at him. “Can you feel that?”

 

“No,” he said. “But I wish I could.” And shit, he'd said that last part out loud.

 

Keith withdrew his hand and slumped back in his seat a little. “How old are you?”

 

“26.”

 

Keith looked infinitely skeptical. “You said you had the accident when you were 17.”

 

“Yes...?” Shiro said, puzzled.

 

Keith rolled his eyes. “You said you hadn't been with anyone since the accident.”

 

“I haven't,” Shiro said, growing more puzzled.

 

Keith's face was a battle of emotions. “Seriously? Why? Can't you get it off—shit shit that was way over the line, sorry.” He actually hid his face in hands.

 

Which was adorable.

 

(Not the damn time, Shiro.)

 

Shiro chuckled. “No, um, that's not a problem. The only thing that doesn't really 'work' is my hand. But I mean, this,” he gestured vaguely at himself. “Not people's first choice.” He tugged up the edge of his shirt to emphasize the point, revealing a particularly large scar.

 

Keith took only the barest glance before jerking his eyes away. Point proven.

 

Keith swallowed hard and looked angry again. He closed his eyes and steadied himself with several deep breaths. “You don't have to taunt me like that,” he whispered.

 

“Taunt you?” Shiro was truly baffled.

 

He shook his head hard. “I just don't get it. You heard everything I said about Gorgeous Guy so why did you just keep...going along with it all?”

 

Shiro cowered inside himself. “I know. I guess I was hoping that somehow, you'd pick me.”

 

And now it was Keith who looked puzzled.

 

Which hurt.

 

“I know, I know. That was stupid of me. I'm obviously not in the same league, but we were getting along well, I thought, and my stupid friend Matt thought you were attracted to me, so I thought I might have a shot if I just...I don't know. I should have either left well enough alone or come clean in the first place, but after I found out you needed money, I didn't think it would be okay to ask you out. I'd rather you have the money than.... Yeah.” He hadn't been able to meet Keith's eyes as he rambled through his explanation, but now he looked up. Keith looked even more confused.

 

“You like me?” he said finally.

 

Right. Might not should have mentioned that, or done it better. Well done.

 

“Yes,” he said faintly. Was the diner rolling or was it just his stomach?

 

“Shiro,” Keith said slowly, “did you honestly not know you're him?” When Shiro just stared in confusion he pressed further. “Shiro, it was you. You're Gorgeous Guy.”

 

Okay, now he was just hallucinating. He pinched his numb arm, remembered, pinched his other arm, and then checked his pulse. Keith made a sound something like a giggle.

 

“How did you not know?!” he demanded, but he looked like he was trying to hold back laughter.

 

“Are you messing with me?” Shiro asked, completely lost. He made another vague gesture at himself. “But I’m like _this_ and you said you'd been crushing on someone for months.”

 

Keith shuffled in his seat and looked embarrassed. “My roommates and I dropped a friend off at your gym. I saw you through the window. Took me a while to have the nerve to join and then I had to figure out your shift schedule.”

 

Shiro stared at Keith. He had absolutely no idea what to do next. “I'm sorry I fucked this up,” he said finally. “I really do like you. I'm sorry I didn't just tell you who I was to begin with.”

 

Keith rapidly shook his head. “No no no no oh god no. If you'd told me at the start you recognized me from my stream, I would have been too embarrassed to _ever_ talk to you again. If I hadn't been so pissed at you, I couldn't even have talked to you _now_.”

 

“Hadn't?” Shiro asked with gentle hope, noting the past tense.

 

“I can't really stay mad at you now that I know you didn't realize you were Gorgeous Guy. I thought you were just making fun of me for being a stupid kid with a hopeless crush.”

 

Okay. Okay shit. You just got forgiveness. Don't fuck this up immediately. No sudden movements. Don't think don't breath just. Sit. Still. Okay now he's staring. Sitting still is too creepy. Say something.

 

“Were you really flirting with SpacePanda or was it just because he was a subscriber?” he blurted out.

 

Keith looked ten times more uncomfortable. “Um, I think it was real. Probably. Panda is—you are—easy to talk to, and I dunno. I felt confident. Ugh,” he put his head in hands again. “You probably thought I was such a tease. Fuck.”

 

“No, I'm flattered,” Shiro said. “Red liked Panda and Keith liked...likes Shiro?” he asked hopefully.

 

“Shiro isn't mad at Keith?” he asked weakly. “I overreacted.”

 

“No I think you reacted the exactly right amount. I was sorta creeping on you,” Shiro said, abashedly rubbing the back of his neck. “I know it was weird to just offer you $5000 like that. I was taking advantage of the fact you thought I was 'safe' to take money from since it was all online and anonymous.”

 

“You literally saved me from having to take several legitimately creepy offers from my other followers and made it possible for me to stay in school this semester. Also, you forget that I was stalking you for way longer than you were stalking me,” Keith said shyly.

 

Shiro smiled and held out his hand. “Start over? Hi, my name is Shiro. I go by the name SpacePanda on a cam site because I'm really bad at usernames.”

 

Keith laughed and shook his hand. “Hi Shiro. My name is Keith and I'm a cam star by the name of Red Blade because I used a random name generator.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Keith,” Shiro said with a soft smile.

 

“Nice to meet you too, Shiro,” Keith said with a small blush.

 

The food finally arrived and Shiro was pleasantly surprised to discover he had an appetite. It was just a burger and fries, but he didn't think he'd ever tasted anything better. Keith seemed to be enjoying his food, too, and soon they were laughing and talking.

 

“It's getting close to 8,” Shiro said reluctantly. “Do you need a ride home?”

 

“Huh? Oh fuck. Right. The stream.” Keith chewed his lip before blurting out, “I deleted my account. Sorry.”

 

“Sorry?” Shiro said, baffled.

 

“Well, the subscription was for a month and I deleted it mid-month, so...,” Keith explained, blushing hard.

 

“You don't have to apologize to me,” Shiro said with a small but warm smile. “I assumed you'd blocked me anyway.”

 

“Just private messages,” Keith mumbled. “I mean, you paid for a month of service, so....”

 

“If anyone tries to hassle you about a refund, I'll be happy to pay for it. Oh shit, sorry, I shouldn't just offer money again,” Shiro said, smacking his forehead, but Keith laughed.

 

“Well, it _is_ your fault, sorta. So sure. If anyone gives me a tough time, I'll let you know, Space Sugar Daddy,” Keith smirked.

 

“I like that better than guardian porn angel. Maybe,” Shiro laughed. “Your friends sound fun. Who was it you were dropping off at my gym? Do I know them?”

 

“Oh, she doesn't go there, but I think you know her brother, Matt.”

 

Shiro was stunned. “Katie? You know Katie Holt? She's practically my sister. I lived with the Holts for a while after the accident. I've known them since grade school.”

 

Keith's eyes lit up. “No kidding? She's kinda but not actually dating my roommate, Lance. Well, they'd be dating if he'd man up and ask her, not that I'm one to talk.”

 

“Well, sounds like I'll need to take Matt and have a nice older brother chat with him,” Shiro laughed. “Is he the friend who gave you the orange dildo?”

 

They talked until the diner closed. Shiro drove Keith home. He asked Keith what his weightlifting goal was and if Keith wouldn't mind the pro bono services of a personal trainer helping him reach it.

 

Keith said yes.

 

~*~*~

 

It was several weeks before Keith made his weightlifting goal. During those weeks there was considerable flirting, texting, laughing, talking, and more flirting. Matt initially took a great deal of pride and credit for the whole thing before eventually begging them to just fucking go out already because damn, people are trying to get fit over here and all that cute sweetness is giving everyone diabetes. Show some consideration.

 

The day Keith made his goal, he shyly asked Shiro if he’d like to go out for coffee. Shiro eagerly agreed and was stammering a bit awkwardly before Matt came up and physically pushed them out the door.

 

“This doesn’t feel like a first date,” Shiro mused.

 

“Ah, yeah, sorry. I can’t really afford to take you somewhere nicer,” Keith said with his patented Awkward Little Blush.

 

“Oh no, sorry! I didn’t phrase that right!” Shiro reassured him hurriedly. “I meant it feels more natural and comfortable than a first date.”

 

Keith relaxed and gave him a small smile. “Well, we’ve been doing some of this in reverse order. Also, haven’t you not been on a date in what—nine years?”

 

“I’ve been on a few dates, actually, but never with anyone I felt comfortable enough to…well, show them anything,” Shiro said, shifting in his chair.

 

Keith nodded his understanding. He looked away and licked his lips nervously as his leg bounced with excess energy. “So, um, are you comfortable enough with me?” he asked, not meeting Shiro’s eyes.

 

Shiro gently placed his hand over Keith’s, making the younger man jump initially and then cautiously look up at him.

 

“I’d do anything for you, Keith,” he said softly, his voice and eyes tender. He brought Keith’s hand to his mouth and kissed his fingers. “If that’s what you want, I’d be honored to take you to bed.”

 

“How do you still not know you’re gorgeous?” Keith said with a trembling voice, his eyes wide.

 

“I know I have a lot of muscle, but I’m covered in scars, Keith. It wasn’t just the accident. I needed follow up surgeries,” Shiro explained, feeling pained. He’d eventually opted to stop, but he did now regret it. He might have gained more feeling back in his arm if he’d kept going, but he couldn’t handle it at the time.

 

Keith clutched Shiro’s hand. “The first time I saw you, it overwhelmed me. You were helping a patron and the way you stood and moved and smiled, it was devastating. It was like your soul was shining through and I knew I _couldn’t_ go without seeing you again and it terrified me. And none of that changed when I saw your scars. You’re shining, Shiro. You’re always shining,” Keith said. He was completely earnest and Shiro could see a kind of desperation in his eyes. Keith was begging Shiro to believe him.

 

“Fuck,” Shiro breathed. He had no idea what else to say. Without meaning to, he reached out and touched Keith’s cheek. Keith immediately cradled the hand and closed his eyes.

 

“Please,” he whispered. “Please take me home, Takashi.”

 

“On one condition,” he said with a smile, his heart pounding. “Can I take you there as my boyfriend?”

 

Keith said yes.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, fuck you too, computer. >_< The finale is coming (pun intended) soon (that's what she said). It'll be just heaps of smut with some fluff. Smuff, if you will. Or Flutt? 
> 
> Big shout to SleepingHeart for "Space Sugar Daddy". 
> 
> Too tired to be clever. Am dead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the kiddos go from zero to sixty in one evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sleepy right now.

The ride to Shiro’s apartment had been far more natural than Shiro would’ve expected, but my _god_ was he nervous. It was Keith. His boyfriend. And they were going to…well, probably fuck each other into the mattress. Had he cleaned? How fresh were his sheets? Oh god he probably had coffee breath. Should he have stopped for condoms?!

 

He gave Keith the tour of his apartment and his boyfriend(!!) was more impressed than Shiro felt he had a right to be. It was a nice enough place, but perhaps a little small and certainly not expensive. He’d sold his parents’ house once he turned 18. Too many memories. His furniture and decorations were also modest, but at least he’d splurged on the bed. Thank god for small blessings.

 

And speaking of his bed, the bedroom was the last stop on the tour. Keith stared at the bed, blushed a bit, and then asked “Is that where you were f-for the stream?” Shiro nodded and Keith cursed under his breath.

 

Shiro moved a step closer and Keith melted into his arms, holding tight.

 

“I wanted it to be you,” he whispered. “I knew it was ridiculous, but I wanted Panda to be you.”

 

Shiro hugged him closer. “I wanted Gorgeous Guy to be me, but I knew _that_ was ridiculous.”

 

Keith laughed softly. “I guess we match then.”

 

Shiro pulled back from the embrace in order to look down at Keith. He could happily drown in those violet-grey eyes, deep and lovely. Gently tilting Keith’s chin, he kissed him. Keith pressed up into the kiss, a happy humming sound in his throat. It was warm and soft and eager and Shiro almost cried because he was _wanted_ , he was allowed to kiss this perfect creature who somehow liked and maybe even loved him.

 

Keith put a hand behind Shiro’s head to tilt him down further and pressed his hips up against him, encouraging him to give him more. Shiro happily obliged, moving his hands down to the curve of Keith’s ass and licking at the seam of his lips, prompting Keith to open his mouth and welcome in Shiro’s tongue. Shiro licked in, teasing Keith’s tongue and coaxing out low moans. Keith had to pull back to catch his breath.

 

“Fuck, Shiro,” he panted. He then surged back up, biting demanding kisses from Shiro’s lips and grinding up against him, gasping at the friction on his growing erection.

 

Shiro kneaded the perfect flesh of Keith’s ass, massaging it and urging Keith closer still. Keith groaned and then began sucking and biting his way down Shiro’s neck. Without fully meaning to, Shiro realized his hands had migrated under Keith’s clothes and were currently again gripping Keith’s ass. He was about to retreat when Keith pulled back, tugged at the edge of Shiro’s shirt, and practically growled.

 

“Off,” was all he said, his voice low and pupils blown wide.

 

Shiro nearly hesitated, but one look into the raw, honest want in Keith’s eyes cured him of that, and shirt immediately came off.

 

Keith cursed under his breath and ran shaking fingers over Shiro’s chest and abdomen. “This. This is what I meant by you taunting me,” he said in awe. “Perfect. You’re so fucking _perfect_.” He pressed a hand to Shiro’s chest, directing him to sit on the bed and then to lie down as he straddled him. “Dammit,” he muttered. “It’s too much. Don’t know where to start.”

 

His initial touches were reverent and gentle, his kisses close-mouthed, but soon his hands were gripping hard into Shiro’s sides and he was licking and biting everywhere he could reach. Shiro was electric under Keith’s touches and had to restrain himself from flipping Keith over and tearing off his clothes.

 

Keith worked his way from Shiro’s abs to his nipples, eagerly taking one in his mouth and swirling his tongue over it. Shiro swore and Keith popped off.

 

“ _Fuck_ how am I allowed to do this?” he panted. “ _God_ , Shiro, you’re perfect.” He latched onto Shiro’s other nipple, licking and sucking hard and making needy sounds.

 

Shiro cupped a hand behind Keith’s head and pressed him closer as he arched up, groaning his name. His other hand slid under the edge of Keith’s shirt, rubbing his back and then he pulled on the cloth.

 

“You too,” he said breathlessly. “Off.”

 

Keith’s smile was somewhere between gentle amusement and sheepish embarrassment. “Y-you’ve already seen it all,” he said with an adorable little stammer as he tugged off his shirt and tossed it aside.

 

“Mm, but I haven’t tasted any of it,” Shiro replied, “and you look even more delicious in person.” He gave Keith a very appreciative, lingering look over and licked his lips without planning to. Okay, so he was thirsty and the boy was a tall glass of water served cold on a hot day. Sue him.

 

He reached for Keith’s belt buckle and gave him a questioning look before helping him rid himself of his pants and boxer briefs. Keith was fully erect, long and flushed a perfectly edible red. Shiro immediately ducked his head to lap at Keith, swirling his tongue to catch the beads of precum forming on the tip. And _god_ did Keith taste good—the warm weight and slide of him was perfect and Shiro needed him deeper, needed to take as much as he could and give even more. Before he realized it, he’d picked Keith up made him straddle Shiro on his knees, lining his cock up with Shiro’s mouth so he could take Keith deep and grip his hips to urge him deeper still.

 

Shiro had been a little worried that he’d do a poor job (it had been almost a decade since he gave his last blow job and holy shit that made him sound old) but it seemed that it was like riding a bicycle: you never forget how. Was that the phrase? Wasn’t it also “an elephant never forgets”? Shiro’s mind was not exactly helping him out here. Whatever the case, the only thing that mattered is that Shiro wanted _more_ and from the litany of praises and curses falling around him, Keith did, too. Technique be damned.

 

Keith was squirming in his arms, calling his name and then suddenly twisting his fingers in Shiro’s short hair, wrenching his head back.

 

“What’s wrong? Everything okay?” Shiro asked, suddenly aware he hadn’t even asked Keith how hard or far he wanted to go. Wow. He was starting off this relationship well. Considerate boyfriend. 10/10.

 

Keith shook his head hard. “It’s fine, it’s fine. I was just…going to finish,” he said sheepishly. “And well, we haven’t done much yet.”

 

“Keith, love, I’m happy to get you more than once,” Shiro said, pressing a soft kiss to the hollow of Keith’s hip. “But we don’t need to do anything you don’t want to.” He blushed and then added. “I don’t have condoms. I’m clean, but really if you want condoms that’s totally fine and I will go buy some or we can do other stuff and have them for next time and yeah I should have asked all this sooner.” Smooth as fuck. Nice recovery.

 

Keith leaned down to press his forehead against Shiro’s. “You’re perfect,” he whispered, “and I want it. I want everything.”

 

“Do you, um, want to finish in my mouth?”

 

(Please??)

 

Keith groaned. “God yes. Yes, Shiro, please. Suck my cock, I want it all wanna give it to you,” he babbled, choking on the words as Shiro captured his cock and sucked it down again.

 

Keith was working his hips this time and yes, yes that was excellent. Recalling how Keith always was so sensitive on his stream, Shiro slid a finger to his hole and pressed against it in light, teasing strokes. Keith was coming in seconds, gasping his name, and it was what Shiro had been craving ever since he first found Red’s stream. Keith slumped forward and Shiro cradled him and arranged them both further back on the bed, Keith’s head on his chest and Shiro’s hand running through his hair.

 

Shiro sighed contentedly, ignoring his own erection in favor of savoring Keith’s quiet breaths as he came back to himself. Keith’s arms circled around him and he cuddled closer.

 

“That was… a _lot_ better than anything I’ve done to myself,” he said and Shiro could _hear_ the embarrassment in his voice and it was probably the most adorable thing he’d ever heard.

 

Shiro rolled onto his side so he could see Keith better (who immediately ducked his head and burrowed into Shiro’s chest to hide). He laughed and plastered kisses into Keith’s hair.

 

“I’m so glad, baby. I’ve been wanting to do that for you for months. You tasted so good. I wanted to milk you for more,” he murmured.

 

Keith squirmed and buried further. “That’s too embarrassing, Shiro. I didn’t even _do_ anything.”

 

“You don’t have to,” Shiro smiled. “Giving you pleasure is fantastic to feel and to watch. It’s not selfish for you to enjoy it, but you’re welcome to return the favor if you want.”

 

Keith’s eyes filled with fire at the suggestion and he looked up at Shiro with something almost predatory, and Shiro was 100% on board with that.

 

“About time we get your pants off,” Keith huffed, failing to sound annoyed.

 

“That would have required slowing down earlier,” Shiro pointed out, making Keith laugh.

 

“Not a chance of that,” Keith grinned, helping Shiro with his buckle and zipper. He gasped when Shiro lifted his hips to help tug off his remaining clothes. “ _God_ , Shiro, you’re big.”

 

Size queen. Definitely a size queen, and that was just fine with Shiro. Keith was looking practically ravenous and that was… okay, _very_ hot but also a little intimidating.

 

Keith looked up at him with a bashful pride. “I think I can take it. I’ve been practicing.”

 

Now it was Shiro’s turn to be too embarrassed to look at his boyfriend. He curled on his side and actually grabbed a pillow to hide under. Keith laughed and snuggled up next to him, picking up the corner of the pillow to hide with him.

 

“See what happens when you say embarrassing things?” Keith teased.

 

“Yes,” Shiro said meekly.

 

Keith chuckled and Shiro pulled him closer for a few gentle kisses before Keith snuck a hand down Shiro’s side and in between his thighs. He moaned and melted as Keith touched, his strokes light, and they exchanged more gentle kisses.  Keith pressed them to Shiro’s jaw and neck once Shiro began to breathe harder.

 

“Love the way you feel in my hand,” he murmured. “So nice and thick.”

 

“I-I’m not th-that big,” Shiro insisted, but it was hard to sound convincing while stuttering.

 

“Bit bigger than my dildo, and just as big as I wanted,” Keith said, and Shiro could feel him grinning in his kisses. “Knew every part of you was perfect for me the minute I saw you.” He nipped Shiro’s earlobe and then moved down his body, gently but firmly pressing his hip until Shiro turned on his back. Nestling between his legs, Keith glanced at Shiro with a smirk and then licked him from base to tip.

 

Shiro gasped and dug his hands into the sheets. Watch himself disappear into Keith’s mouth was the most intensely erotic thing he’d ever seen, and when Keith looked up at him from under his long lashes and winked he was _gone_. Breathing hard and fast, he fought to last but the work of that frenzied tongue was making him dizzy and Keith’s rumbling moans across his cock were so good and oh god Keith was gripping his hip so tight and rubbing what he couldn’t fit and oh god it was so good so good—

 

Shiro urgently tugged Keith off and came mere seconds later, shooting long stripes onto his heaving chest and stomach.

 

“Nine years worth of cum?” Keith teased, but looking somewhat awed.

 

“You made me cum every week for months, you know,” Shiro panted, too overwhelmed to be embarrassed. He was still shuddering through aftershocks (and was still half-hard).

 

Keith leaned over him and began to lap at one stripe. “Mmm, nicer than I thought,” he mused. “I would have swallowed, you know. I thought you were pulling me off because you didn’t want to come yet.”

 

“Didn’t ask you beforehand,” Shiro smiled. “Next time you can go for it if you like.”

 

Keith sat up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes soft. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You’re so beautiful, Shiro. I’m selfish, though, because I don’t want anyone else to see you like this,” he added with a laugh. “Just for me, like this.” He traced along Shiro’s hip and then leaned down to kiss him. He sat back up with a frown.

 

“Does it bother you that I was cam star?” he said.

 

“It would be pretty hypocritical of me if it did,” Shiro assured him. “I’d be jealous if you did it now, but love, you are so much more beautiful, more sexy, more _everything_ in person. You shine. And I don’t own your body. You do.”

 

Keith ducked his head and blushed. “You can own me a _little_ , you know,” he said. He crawled off the bed to grab tissues to clean up the rest of Shiro’s stomach.

 

Shiro smiled softly. “You can own me a little, too, if you want.” He helped Keith clean.

 

Keith paused in his cleaning when he came to Shiro’s cock and opted to clean it with his tongue. “I should’ve stopped sooner,” he lamented with a smile. “I really wanted to get you in me. If that’s alright,” he added in a rush, looking at Shiro.

 

Shiro flushed with interest and embarrassment. “Five minutes, love, and you can have me anywhere you want me.”

 

Keith bit his lip. “I showered after my workout and was…thorough,” he said shyly.

 

Shiro propped up on his elbows and grinned. “That mean you want me to rim you?”

 

Keith turned the reddest Shiro had ever seen him.

 

“Oh fuck, um, no I just meant that I’m good to go for bottoming and uh we didn’t need to worry about anything I wasn’t trying to imply or ask for anything that is definitely up to you oh my god fuck so sorry.”

 

Shiro laughed as he sat up and threw his arms around Keith. “I’ve wanted to eat your ass out since your first stream. I was so jealous of your fingers, disappearing into you. I wanted to crowd in with them, make you moan,” he murmured. Wow. He’d actually embarrassed himself saying that, but he was hugging Keith close so hopefully he wouldn’t notice the giant blush he’d given himself.

 

Keith shivered. “Fuck, Shiro,” he said softly. “Okay. Yeah. You can, um. Yeah.”

 

“On your knees,” Shiro said, kissing Keith’s cheek and then hopping off the bed to get the lube. He was planning to finger him open after he got started. “Let me prep you, baby. I’ve seen your streams and I know you go too fast when you get eager.” He kissed along Keith’s spine.

 

Keith bowed his face into the pillow and kept his ass up. “Always came fastest when I thought of you. I was planning to get a cock ring just to last longer,” he mumbled.

 

Fuck. This kid was going to kill him.

 

Shiro massaged and spread Keith and kissed and licked his way down to Keith's hole. He whimpered at the first light sweep of Shiro's tongue, twitching at the sensation. Remembering how slow Keith liked to start (and so rarely allowed himself to stay), Shiro took his time teasing and licking. Keith made a delicious variety of sounds, all of them needy and happy. When he did finally press his tongue in past the rim of muscle, Keith arched his back and cried out at the sudden breach.

 

“Fuck, Shiro,” he panted. “Oh god that feels good. Nnnh like _that_ oh god.”

 

He was moving his hips back and his hands were clenched tight in the sheets. Shiro hummed his satisfaction and let Keith set the rhythm. It wasn't long before Keith was panting and trembling from want.

 

“Shiro,” he begged, “I want your fingers.”

 

Shiro smiled against him and licked one last long stripe before sitting back and easing Keith onto his back.

 

“Want to see your face,” he said softly and Keith nodded, breathless and flushed.

 

“Want to see you, too,” he said, closing his eyes as the first lubed finger pressed and disappeared into him. “Fuck god it's, mmm, it's good, Shiro. Nice like that.”

 

The expressions Keith made as he slowly eased him open, adding a second finger and establishing a slow glide in and out, was everything Shiro wanted and more. He was lost in pleasure and desperately needing more and it was almost unbearable how much he wanted to make Keith come. He began to seek out that cluster of nerves that would send sparks arching through his body. Keith arched immediately at the touch and swore. Shiro bit his lip and focused on finding and teasing that spot—Keith was distracting in a million ways and his own erection was back in full force and eager to be used.

 

Keith was a begging mess in minutes, practically pleading with Shiro to enter him. It would have taken a far stronger man than Shiro deny Keith anything at that moment, and certainly not something as entirely pleasing as that proposition. He withdrew his fingers and lined himself up when Keith tensed and gripped his forearm.

 

“C-can I ride you?” he asked. He was flushed and wrecked and shy. Clearly he did not know that Shiro was 100% weak to him at the best of times and right now? Right now it was Keith's show to direct at will. Shiro stretched out flat on the bed in what was probably a comical display of obedience and was certainly in record-breaking time.

 

Keith straddled him and paused as they simply shared the moment, Keith with his hand on Shiro's chest and Shiro with his hand caressing Keith's cheek. Then Keith lined himself up and sank slowly down.

 

The sound he made was obscene.

 

(As was Shiro's, but he was a bit distracted at the moment, thank you.)

 

Shiro rolled his hips, letting Keith adjust to the feeling.

 

“Mmm, that’s it, baby. Nice and slow. Just feel me. Just take it. Fuck you feel so good spread on me. Wish you could see what you look like right now, needy for me and _fuck_ baby you feel so good. Just stay for a moment, let me feel you like this,” Shiro groaned. Keith felt so good, the warmth and weight of him so tight and perfect. The urgency had eased to this slow, exquisite sensation.

 

Keith met the slow roll with one of his own and he shivered. He kept his eyes open and focused on Shiro and it was like his soul was naked, open to the man before him. Shiro had never felt so exposed and never felt so wanted.

 

“Nnng, so good. Shiro’s it’s so good it’s so much. Oh god Shiro please. Takashi it’s too good please take me please Takashi,” Keith begged.

 

“Touch yourself for me, baby,” Shiro panted. “You look so good on me god look at you never seen anything so beautiful.”

 

Keith was frantically rubbing himself and crying for release. Shiro gripped him harder and began to piston into him, hard and fast and Keith threw back his head, moaning a string of Takashi's and Shiro's and curses and came hard, clenching perfectly on Shiro's cock and pulling him into his own finish.

 

Keith collapsed forward, heedless of the mess, and kissed with a weak fierceness down Shiro's neck before settling into his shoulder and trembling in Shiro's arms as he melted under soothing caresses. They stayed that way for several minutes, occasionally exchanging lazy kisses, before either felt strong enough to get towels.

 

Sufficiently cleaned, they snuggled under Shiro's sheets, the question of if Keith was staying the night going unasked. It would have been ludicrous to suggest that Keith should be anywhere else at that moment but in Shiro's arms and they both knew it.

 

“Shiro? I think I like how actual sex feels,” Keith laughed sleepily.

 

Shiro was curled up with the World’s Most Attractive Man. He was in deep, and he couldn’t be happier.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a crazy wild ride this has been. Y'all have been so supportive and encouraging and it's been AWESOME. There was a request for a Keith POV chapter and I think that sounds fun, so I'll probably end up doing one. Just...not tonight lmao. Did y'all notice that several of Shiro's fantasies he had while watching the streams came true?! What a clever author who definitely planned that from the beginning!
> 
> This story was going to be like 6 pages when I started it. Ended up with 35. Oops?
> 
> I have Plans for other fics, so stay tuned. *awkward winking* 
> 
> Follow my tumblr for useless posts and News about Fics: decidedlysarah.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> I'm afraid I wrote Keith more like Lance...? It's hard to write Keith when he's not actively moody or pissed, lol. Plus, he's a Soft & Shy Boy around Shiro. 
> 
> If all goes well, there will be at least one smut scene per chapter. Y'all are welcome/I can't help myself. 
> 
> Wanna see me make useless posts? Follow my tumblr: www.tumblr.com/decidedlysarah


End file.
